I Don't Do Spooky

Sunday I was searching for a photo

 for a friend who was over

for the day

and I stumbled across these.

(never did find the other photo I wanted)

I started making advents like these many moons ago.

This happened to be an all day class I taught

maybe 7? years ago and  it was

 a great class. Everyone's 

advent came out unique and pretty,

or as scary as they wished.

It was a long day painting backgrounds, 

cutting and sewing and I'm pretty sure I 

served my classic Halloween chili.

Everything but the spiders and the web

were made by hand,

and each student painted 

their background as they wished.

The house was hand cut and assembled

Everyone who knows me knows I always get a pinwheel in somehow

The bats were on wires so they could bounce (fly)

There is a string garland inside the little painted box

I had forgotten how many pumpkins

 I used to make each season.

They have homes all over the country.

A sampling...

Pumpkins Pumpkins Everywhere

Well not everywhere, but just here and there to remind me

that glorious fall has arrived.

and yes, I made most of them, except for the twig ones.

and have taught them and sold them for many years.

This years version looks like this

I'll be making more, so if you're in the Vegas area

and would like a class just let me know.

Z

More CHCHCHCHanges

Have nothing in your house that you do not know 

to be useful or believe to be beautiful * William Morris

It is easy to do for me, but so many of you struggle

and I get it, I do. Simplifying is more 

of a psychological challenge than time or physical,

though time and physical sure chime in at these moments.

I sold off several more pieces of furniture and have 

at least two more waiting for a buyer.

The dominoes fall and 

swapping and switching occurs.

For example the white chest by the sofa with 

heart dangling from it, was in the family room

for many years. It held candles and dvds and cds.

None of which should be exposed to heat and cold,

which happens on this porch.

So they all had to be relocated somewhere inside

and things inside then came out to porch.

I filled up 2 more boxes for goodwill

in this process alone. I also ended up with more

empty drawers.

The sisal carpet that was on porch for years had

some damage so I swapped for one 

I used in the studio in garage.

It was smaller which meant I had to really 

scrub around exposed areas that had discolored from

under the larger rug. 

All of this took far longer than normal

as I can only work "heavy" in short

bursts and lots of resting.

Two days later VIOLA!

I need to change out that outdoor light

that hasn't worked in years and then 

that lamp I never liked will go also.

Electricity scares me or I would do it myself.

I used to do wiring with my dad 

but it scared me then too.

Lots of folks will be here for Christmas and

this new arrangement will make dining 

much easier. 

You just gotta dive in,

time is flying by, no more some day 

or laters, we owe it to ourselves

we owe it to our families.

Most of what is happening 

around us is insane and frightening.

All the more reason to make a safe refuge

from the storm.

Z

A couple shots of the porch quite a few years ago.

It looked like a store!

Just Made Me Happy

 “I want to skip to the end of the Trump movie where it fades out and captions tell us how long they each got in prison,” by @OwensDamien.

just made me happy to think...

I've now sold off over half of 

what I acquired

over the past 40 some years.

 Yet no one would say my

home is spare. Not by 

a long shot.

Still work to be done.

I have some "craft" items I'll 

be showing you soon.

I'm looking for good homes for them,
as I've loved them well

Vintage flashcards (lots)

Stones for jewelry making - jar after jar
Piles of chain for jewelry

Netty Le Croix pattern packs (wonderful primitives)

Email me if anything interests you

and I'll try to get photos out to you quickly.

That's all for this morning.

I'm just treading water with a 

lap around the life pool now and then.

Trying to be calm and serene.

Z

A Miserable Failure

You would think that 

fitting a cpap to a face 

would not be very difficult,

as it's done many many times a day.

Leave it to this ole broad to have issues.

After three different types all failing to "seal" 

properly we settled on a full face model

 that was so tight to my face that 3 hours

 after removal I was still showing

 the divots in my face.

To sum up quickly:

I failed miserably.

I made it till the last hour required

after multiple times being

awakened by staff to change masks,

adjust monitors etc. 

Still only slept a total of 2 1/2 hours.

Around 4 am I started to cough,

 and then more severely

until I could not catch my breath. 

Suddenly realized I could not

sit up enough to clear my throat

and I could not remove the mask

and I 

could 

NOT breathe.

Frantically clawing at the damn thing,

the tech ran in from down

the hall and yanked it off me and we both 

were holding onto each other 

saying damn that was bad.

Both techs were wonderful and kind

this time but it was still a total failure.

Will see if the Dr reviewing record will say

he has enough to order machine

but I'm not sure I can stand to sleep 

with the dang thing.

So I signed the paper saying I quit the test.

I'm discouraged and defeated.

I'm going on hiatus from everything for a bit.

At least fall is here

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It turns out that I indeed do have sleep apnea,

and a c-pap machine is needed.

I will be going back for another night

at the same center and that worry has caused 

 even more sleep issues.

I spoke to the Supervisor, told her my story

and she scheduled me on a day 

when my former tech

is not on duty. That was very kind.

Still the experience itself was unpleasant 

not just the tech, so trepidation is

the current condition.

Seeing as how I stop breathing 78 times an hour,

which is "not the worst she's seen, but up there",

I have no choice but to go.

It's now been a year since I hobbled

onto this merry go round.

The thrill is gone, looooong gone.

The only comfort I find is that fall

is coming and this confining heat is 

nearly over. Still I live where

natural disasters are infrequent so I 

count my blessings there.

All the more reason to vote in folks

 who actually understand the urgency for 

change worldwide to protect the planet and reduce,

if we still can, effects causing such climate calamities.

Being able to breathe and exist on the planet

trumps all other issues combined.

pun intended

though I hate using anything other than #45

Making a conscious effort to create often

like I used to, a friend and I are going

to be stuffing pumpkins at the end of the week.

Fall will heal me once more,

I'm counting on it.

Z

btw- my new room design is 

working perfectly. It almost feels 

like all the extra room is helping my breathing.

Clear away the clutter gals

where ever it may be.

So This Became That and This Moved There, Or The Dominoes Have Fallen

I was just going to "try something."

There used to be a two piece very large cabinet 

right there on that wall. 

The top part of the cabinet

is on the floor far right.

Chairs moved out of the way.

The bottom I was going to use for tv in FR

as I'm selling large cabinet behind it.

Could this top go there?

Maybe so, and what if I did hang artwork there?

Loaded the shelves

After sending progress shots to my girl,

we agreed on this.

The room looks wider, fresher

and I am one less piece of furniture

and I now have fewer collectibles.

Score!

Then I began moving some things off of the porch

Ended up swapping out items from cabinet in LR.

Keeping favorites only,

always with the mindset to downsize.

That affected this display

Morphed into this

Which resulted in piles more purged items.

This is one of two tables waiting for pricing.

Oh, and I made cards with friend Sue

last weekend.

Fun day!

Happy Kids Happy Mama

The kids were at Brunch together yesterday.

Ben and Helene

Hannah and Morgan,

her best friend since Kindergarten.

Morgan was visiting in between 

 residency rotations.

I can see both of them in their Oshkosh,

squealing with laughter on the playground.

Mutt and Jeff.

Hannah and Morgan,

a tiny bit of a girl

Second grade Helldorado Days at school

They have made an effort to

 see each other at least once a year

since HS graduation and they've both been

all over the country.

It all makes Mama very happy.

Who Needs a Scary Movie?

Want to be scared ****less?

Agree to a sleep study

I cannot begin to describe how awful this 

experience was Monday night.

Google "wired up for a sleep study" and 

find the worst photo and then multiply by two.

Suffering from insomnia for months

 I was worried I would not sleep,

but luckily after 2 hours lying there, I slept for an hour 

and then woke up coughing and choking

on huge amount of mucous in my throat. I was trying

 to clear my throat and sitting up wondering

if I should call to see if they could remove temporarily

the three (yep three!) cannulas in my nose

 and the tube into my mouth so I could blow and spit..

(Sorry folks this is what was happening.)

The tech "Manny" burst in and

 began to scold me for 20 minutes for 

"waking myself up" and becoming anxious.

"I'm monitoring your O/2 -I won't let you die;

 if you stop breathing EMT is right next door.

OK seriously?

"It just feels like your choking

but you can still breathe,

so GO TO SLEEP! NOW!"

Scolding had morphed into near yelling.

I could spend an hour telling you the rest of it

but I'll just tell you the conclusion.

I did manage to sleep another 3 hours -

after weeping a little while, I admit,

though I never touched my eyes so 

tech could not see in night vision.

 I would not give the SOB

the satisfaction.

Tech was NOT happy with my measly 4 hours.

He's supposed to record 7 1/2.

He burst into room at 6 when I opened my eyes

and sat me right up too fast to begin removing 

a kajillion wires from EVERYWHERE 

and my vertigo kicked in big time.

 He told me I may have to repeat.

I looked him right in the eye and

said "fat chance."

All the other patients were unhooked and leaving,

and though he said take your time,

it was clear he wanted me to leave

 as he carried my purse and bag to the front door.

I would have easily failed a field sobriety test.

I was nauseated, vision blurry, and dizzy. 

Yet get into my car I did.

Drank about 16 oz of cold water

that he had kept out of my reach that night,

and proceeded to drive very carefully

 the 3 miles back home.

It was a surface street with little traffic

 or I would not have attempted.

I swayed through my garage

into the kitchen and promptly 

vomited in the sink. 

Oh there is so much more,

but that's enough scary stuff.

BTW the goo glued into your hair 

in seven places takes four complete shampoos

 to remove, or maybe just me?

I wish you could see me shaking my head,

this is all so nuts.

My brother's line of 

"50% of all Drs graduate in the bottom half

of their class, is on a loop in my brain."

and my last note "go to hell Manny"

I actually said the other thing. 

Z

Four Docs, A Shot and Ben Casey Would Know

I really don't mind 

having met the halfway mark through 

my 60's but it seems to have had

the effect of a starter pistol as far

as my health goes.

Monday was a bunch more blood work etc.

Today was two Drs, one brand new, four more tests,

and a shot for pneumonia.

My first injection in decades.

Coming up next, three more Drs, "specialists"

you see, who hopefully will have answers,

and it's safe to assume a lot more tests.

As of Sept last year I had never needed 

prescriptions for anything other than antibiotics

 every few years if I caught a winter "something",

birth control in my twenties, 

and I hadn't needed 

a Dr for more than annual exams in decades.

Now in 2018 I wander in and out of offices,

being passed around for x-rays, electrodes, 

zaps, pokes, scans and such.

I'm not too fond of this new routine.

I'm looking for the exit, or the big red stop button

that I can pound down with my fist.

I want the buzzer that signals the 

last round of the game, and get some solid answers.

Ben Casey would know.

I had a Ben Casey "Dr" shirt 

when I was in elementary

school and my girlfriends and I played hospital.

They were on team Kildare,

but I alone went the brooding, dark route,

never the All American blonde blue eyed type for me.

Team Casey all the way.

He could pull off a pocket protector yesiree bob.

Which explains why my next

grown up obsession was Armand

which morphed into

Do we see a pattern here Dr?

Neither of my husbands had 

what I now realize was "the look"

SO THAT'S what happened?!

Stay well my friends, stay well.

Z

Ten bloomin' years - Yep ten!

Seems only fitting that I 

should chronicle what I have done

here for the past ten years:

The anniversary is this month, 

coming up soon.

It's a bit of a read sorry...

I never intended to blog this long,

or to write such a mishmash of ideas

 and memories, especially as I started out on a whim.

 I am happy however that I did take that first step.

My first words were:

"The kids will not believe that I did this

 on my own without nagging them for help. 

Tonight was another sleepless night, 

so why not give it a try? 

Please bear with me as I learn to navigate 

these treacherous waters of the internet and blogging.

 I will attempt to learn quickly

 and try to be if not entertaining, then informative."

I was shocked to read that the sleeping issue

 went back so far,

that's where journaling comes in handy.

Yesterday I spent time reviewing the years, 

stopping to read a few here and there

 remembering family moments,

watching the years slip away. 

I wanted a journal of sorts

and it is what it is.

I tried to never blather on 

so as to have a post each day,

but indeed blather is here and there. 

I wrote if I had something to say,

or to share.

Lots of us started out here in 08.

Most that I knew then have gone away completely,

or jumped to daily postings on IG

and Facebook. I won't touch FB and I barely 

do IG. My little oldgreymare corner

is just right for me.

 A few of my post links are below, 

I couldn't tell you why I selected 

this particular hodgepodge of ten.  

Some or all may be new to you.

Thank you

every one of you

for your 10 years of 

 support

friendship

laughter

advice

and love

Things I Learned From My Father

A Different Reflection

Fasten Your Seatbelts

Life Lessons

Memorable Guests

Looking Back

Here's The Tale

These next two go together

**** It Bucket    Bucket Bucket Who Has The Bucket?

T But No A

Death Cleaning

with love

Z