^%$# HOWIE!

Please tell me one of you out there

is the master of a pooch who 

acts more like a raunchy comedian than a dog.

Yesterday while I was on the phone 

with a friend he tried to crawl down my shirt.

He got his cold wet nose nestled in between 

the boobish area and then proceeded to wrangle both front 

legs down into the shirt while flipping his body upside down

so his back legs were hugging my face 

along with his butt.

Are you kidding me?

I was not going to share this with you,

 but then today he topped it.

I was in the lavatory,

umm, "using it"..

The door was closed, but not locked.

Suddenly, I heard him come scampering across

the kitchen tile and then BAM,

the door burst open and he lept full force onto my lap.

Are you kidding me?

I wish yelling his full name 

"Eisenhower" 

would work, like it 

would on an adolescent,

but he doesn't know that is his real name.

Anyway, it would only confuse him,  

as he is positive he is a Democrat.