Knuckleheads

So if this was shown to you 

what would you surmise is going on?

My four knuckleheads

after a Mothers Day Zoom

gathering slid down the rabbit hole.

Take a guess or see the answer on

oldgreymareprimitives

Saying Goodbye

A lovely guy came early this morning to pick up 

this table. Hannah had re-listed it for sale and this time

Bam! right away.

Slowly but surely my things are going 

away to new homes and making new memories.

As they were loading pieces onto the truck, 

I started weeping and Hannah my sweet girl

immediately understood why.

I got a tremendous buy on that table and

 bought it specifically for this house

26 years ago. I painted all the pieces

including the china cupboard that is now

also gone after the Oct sale.

So many memories took place 

around that table. Birthday parties,

holidays, my annual Christmas sit down

dinners for 12 friends,

and every night dinners when it was

still the four of us. 

So happy and grateful for our home 

and our family. 

Minutes after the buyer drove away,

I was saying goodbye to darling daughter and 

her loves Tom and David.

The tears then flowed some more.

I am so weary of saying goodbye.

Being forced to let go of loved ones 

and cherished keepsakes,

even though it is the process of life.

These two

"How lucky I am to have something

that makes saying goodbye so hard."  pooh

Ugly Cry

Every year someone gives a gift to mama

that results in an ugly cry.

This year the winner was Hannah,

with a memento of my four - four legged loves.

Gadget and Libbey came before the blog but have 

been mentioned of course.

Justice and Howie have been blog subjects 

since the first day. 

It's been hard with the granddogs here.

A constant reminder of what is missing.

The sounds of a dog jumping off a bed then

hitting the floor. Nails scrambling across the tile

as they make the sharp turn into the kitchen.

Doggie sighs as they settle down to sleep

in their chosen chairs.

Sounds of lapping at the water bowl. 

Even doggie farts, thank you David.

I miss it all until I ache.

One kid couple in Michigan since Sunday.

Other kid couple at his dad's today.

I'm going to watch movies and 

bake and eat cookies till I'm ill.

Merry Christmas to all

and may god help us next year.

I fear some more ugly cries.

Memory Tree

For many years I had two 

large gates in my hallway

covered with memorabilia,

 many of the pieces are gifts

 from blog friends. 

The majority from my very 

special friend Carole.

I sold the gates at my last sale 

and the pieces that hung on them

 sat in a box on my bedroom 

floor for over two months.

Today I remembered this skinny tree

 tucked away in a closet

and trimmed it out with anything 

from the box that would fit.

One small star light strand up the middle. 

There are keys from my dad, 

the first wishbone from my

first turkey with my husband, 

trinkets I made long ago, milagros, 

even a pocket watch.

The memories make me happy.

Good thoughts to help me sleep.

Counting the days till kids and grand-dogs arrive.

I'm grand-dog sitting David the talking husky.

 Good thing we spent the week

sleeping together at Thanksgiving so he 

won't be worried about his folks. I hope...

Not everyone can be here at the same time,

so a very patchwork holiday.

January may bring a very special gift for me.

It is not for sure just yet, but soon I may have

another best friend to share my life.

It arrives not in the manner I had planned,

but it is a gift out of love and friendship to me.

I am cautiously excited.

How is everything going for you?

Z

Priscilla

This ball of energy came very close to being renamed

Mamie Eisenhower, an homage to Howie,

 whose real name was Eisenhower,

and coming to live with me.

 I spent last week in LA with the kids

and my DD#2 had scheduled an appointment

at the dog cafe for Saturday.

There you get to spend one hour in a large room

 playing with available dogs and then you fill out an

extensive application, home visit etc.

I went with an attitude that this is all too soon,

and I had a certain type in mind...

Priscilla hopped onto my lap within minutes 

and promptly fell asleep in my arms.

I was in love.

 She stayed there about 40 minutes

until suddenly her best friend 

Randy was adopted and left.

She was frantic.

If you go to the link and are in LA 

Vivien was also a love, but too large for me

while carrying 0/2.

We left, and Ben and Hannah

filled out the application ( right outside the door)

as time was of the essence.

It took 45 minutes doing that, and that night we answered

 a zillion questions on line and sent pics of entire home.

Fast forward we discovered she had been returned

 once already due to her super high energy 

( they referred to her as tazmanian devil) 

which did not scare me too much 

as she was only 8 months old.

But the first three weeks after adoption, 

she would have to live in 

LA with Tom and Hannah who work A LOT

and she would add stress to their schedules.

Then we planned they would drive

 her to me at Christmas.

When we discovered the hyperactivity

 I decided the timing wasn't right 

and so I removed my application.

This is not a "first serve" 

they "SELECT" the best fit for the dog. 

Ben and Helene took me to two more shelters on Sunday

but I didn't connect with any other pooches.

At first it felt like serendipity with Priscilla even though

I am still grieving, but then my practical self

said don't rush, it'll happen.

A week with the kids was amazing. 

David my grand-dog slept with me every night.

I can now tell you that Ben and Helene

bought a house. They close very soon.

They are beyond excited 

and then 5 months later the wedding!!!

Excited and uber stressed

I missed being able to see inside or help the move

by one week. Things were delayed.

Thanksgiving dinner was delicious.

I made a five cheese mac and cheese

( first time we had for turkey day) that I 

will make again, and Ben made

 his famous sausage stuffing 

and Hannah cooked a perfect bird. 

Of course I came home with a horrific cold/cough

Luckily driving like a bat out of hell

 got me home in 4 hours.

I got my 0/2 and perishables out of the car

and left everything else in it.

It may stay there till the weekend.

Gonna catch up with Y'all soon.

Is it really December 3rd already!!

Damn I only have the porch decorated so far.

Maybe we'll just hang there the whole time. 

Z

Updates

Updates on the personal front.

Ben and Helene

 have set a May wedding date 

Ben just finished working on

the first season of 

Chasing the Cure for TNT.

Hannah and crew are making preparations to 

go to Amsterdam with their 

winning short for that festival.

If they place in the top 10 there,

 they go on to Cannes.

Tom is playing Goldstein in

 George Orwell's 1984 

adapted by Michael Gene Sullivan 

with Tim Robbins and 

The Actors Gang

Busy enough?

The holidays are going to be crazy

 as the kids are making pit stops here,

both before and after they head 

to Detroit  (DD and TOM)

and AZ ( DS and DD2)

Not sure yet if we will all be in

the house at the same time.

I hope so, for

2019 is likely to be the last Christmas in

the house where they grew up.

It will also be the easiest Holiday as I 

sold off about 75% of decorations.

My trusty go-to picks are still out there,

so never fear.

Howie back at vet today

progress, but not there yet.

I have a new cardiologist as of this Saturday.

Cross your fingers eh?

and

I managed to slide the hutch top 

( see yesterday's post) off and down

onto this cart easily enough

but now can't get it off the cart.

I need 2 more step down pieces

 to get close enough to floor.

Stay tuned...

Z

another update:

I received a comment from a good and trusted blog friend

who thought perhaps I was altering my personality

by paring down so drastically.

 I appreciate such honesty and agree that

I am changing.

It's not just about moving

It's not just about selling the house

It is about very positive changes

that I think we all need to address.

About Nathaniel

Another friend wanted a close up

Again stay tuned

Our Children Are Our Future

I mentioned a few posts back

that the kids were very busy and doing fine.

A little brag fest for my journal:

 Thursday night Hannah and her friend 

Zach flew up to Portland 

for the 48 hour film project festival.

They had entered their short film in the project 

and had made it to

the final round.

Bare bones explanation:

It is what it sounds like

You and your team have 48 non stop hours

 to make a short film start to finish.

This is the text I got from her

piece by piece

Mom-Having fun ?

Hannah:

So far so good. Won best actor and actress.

Best cinematography too for a tie 

Best production design 

Best writing 

Best editing 

Best direction 

BEST ^%$#ING FILM 

Now the film enters International in Amsterdam next year.

Ben

 has been working 

on Chasing the Cure the new TNT series

with Ann Curry.

If you know anything about the show

 it is indeed very ironic,

as I am still "diagnosis free" so to speak.

Helene, Ben's fiancee

 is working countless

hours on the homeless and housing issues 

in LA which are in crisis, as they are

in many major cities.

 Tom

works a full time day job and

 most nights and weekends

is either in rehearsal or in a current play

with The Actor's Gang, Tim Robbins group

in Culver City. 

They are very busy, productive and happy.

I am so proud of these four young folk.

They bode well for our future.

Only a couple weeks till I see three of them

coming to help with sale.

Tom has a play, so we'll miss him.

The sale has taken on nightmarish

proportions. If I remember, I will try 

to get a snap of the roll out before we open.

Aren't we all incredibly proud 

of all these young people taking a stand 

today for climate change.

Dear heaven, if the "powers" would only listen..

Pretty weekend to you all. 

Z

Gosh Guys

Gosh guys is all I can say

Went for MRI on Friday

Lay down and got all strapped in, preparing for dye;

and I started to cough as usual when I lie flat.

It's a mucus thing, lord I hate that word!

I'm inside the bleepin' tube and start to choke

and I call out a very garbled 

"puel meee out!

He does, and sees I'm struggling to 

clear my throat,

rapidly undoes the strapping and helps me sit up

and I cough out a glob,

and proceed to cough off and on 

and spit for 

the next five minutes.

Lovely tech guys says

"This is not going to work."  

So my appt I waited three weeks for,

 as they screwed up the referral, ends with 

no answers and I still have this nodule.

E-visited my primary Dr. on Friday

What next?

crickets

Gosh guys, I'm at my wits end.

Darling daughter sent me

a St Raphael medal for Mothers Day.

I hold it every day, and I'm neither catholic or

believe in organized religion. 

I am however spiritual.

Dearest son and daughter to be, came

 for a weekend visit 2 weeks ago and helped me

 with so many chores and we talked CA move.

Darling daughter arrives this weekend

with two childhood chums for 4 glorious days.

I am one lucky Mom

in the kid category.

In the "health" category -

In the "our country is in real trouble"category-

Gosh Guys

Z

my only consolation

Sunday nights trifecta of

 Killing Eve 

Game of Thrones 

Call the Midwife 

oh, and tomato pie

Howie Versus Squirrel

The squirrel won

Howie and I just returned from CA.

We spent several days visiting

 with the kids and eating wonderful

meals prepared by Ben.

Lot of laughs, a rousing game of Obama Llama;

hilarious fun, and it was 

Stoddards versus non Stoddards.

We crushed em

Howie somehow scratched his eye again.

Infection set in that I saw at 2 am before 

leaving for LA at 3 am.

Run to Hannah's vet as soon as I arrived.

I'd been up for 36 hours and I was babbling.

$$$$$$

again- sigh

Many discussions about my future, 

and where to live, move and 

when and how to afford.

It's dizzying and distressing. 

I am thrilled they want me there, 

but it's almost a

frozen with fear thing.

Wishing dozens of times 

that my dad was alive to 

advise me. 

Thursday I get my c-pap mask,

or at least an attempt to 

be fitted for one.

I am 0 and 2 so far.

Did you win the 1.6 billion dollars?

We didn't

Happy Kids Happy Mama

The kids were at Brunch together yesterday.

Ben and Helene

Hannah and Morgan,

her best friend since Kindergarten.

Morgan was visiting in between 

 residency rotations.

I can see both of them in their Oshkosh,

squealing with laughter on the playground.

Mutt and Jeff.

Hannah and Morgan,

a tiny bit of a girl

Second grade Helldorado Days at school

They have made an effort to

 see each other at least once a year

since HS graduation and they've both been

all over the country.

It all makes Mama very happy.

Two of a Kind

When a shirt is cute and comfortable,

you may find yourself reflected back at a summer party.

My girls:

Helene and Hannah

Smart Accomplished Funny and Kind

and obviously share similar taste

ADELE - I Adore You

Words cannot express

the hours spent overwhelmed 

with emotion and joy

at the Adele concert 

last Tuesday evening at the Staples Center.

Her voice is still on a constant loop 

through my mind, six days later.

DD had given me the concert as a Christmas present

and it will go down as a lifetime memory. I could

swoon and attempt to describe but let me just say this.

IF you EVER have the chance to go to an Adele concert...

It means waiting on phone line for over 3 hours, and 

every date is sold out in hours but it is 

worth it so GO!

Adele is gorgeous, chatty, funny and 

remarkably down to earth.

Her voice vibrated up through 
the floor and surrounded us. 

She had me and everyone

else surrounding me, 

all 18,000 of us, in tears.

I drove down to CA early Monday morning,

after teaching a class on Sunday. 

My first time teaching outside my home 

in over a decade.

Some of the girls and just one of their projects.

The 10 women were all lovely and put me at ease 

and I'm excited to do another class soon at 

the brand new store on Eastern,

The Paper Bunny.

This CA trip I took

Howie, who had never been in another home before, 

let alone on an over four hour car trip. 

He was fabulous.

He adapted to the lack of a doggie door and trooped

up and down flights of stairs all day long,

 and sat patiently in outdoor restaurants.

He loved it, and was a hit everywhere we went.

Elevators were a bit scary and after a couple rides,

he just started planting his rump down

 and refusing to go.

It felt like we ate our way 

through Culver City, a bit of Beverly Hills, 

and each meal and setting

was wonderful, and outdoors!

Check out this succulent wall

in a restaurant on Wilshire down from DS's office.

The first dinner out they had me downing margaritas

and shooting mescal. I had such a buzz so quickly,

I could tell the kids were getting a kick out of tipsy Mama.

All gushing aside,

it was such a wonderful trip and late each evening we 

hung out at DD's and drank wine and nibbled some more

and talked and talked and talked.

Those kids of mine are incredible.

I am so proud of them.

Both of them have films in a festival this week.

Think I could live here in this studio?

It's across the street from DD's.

it's nearly 3,000 a month.

I know I could live IN it,

but I couldn't live WITH it at that price.

We looked at several places but I would need

to live farther out to afford anything.

I really did enjoy staying in DD's 400 sq feet studio.

Coming home only reinforced for me the excess of

space I have and "things" that I have.

So local gals I feel another major purge 

stirring, so stay tuned.

Laundry and such await me.

This week my brother will be coming 

with a gaggle of his friends.

One of them had comps to a time share,

thus the trip.

I have not seen Scott in 10 years.

I have not lived near him since I was 21.

My two kids are

so close and such good friends,

and share their lives.

I envy that.

Have a great confetti filled week.

Z