Sunday, June 17, 2018

My Father's Days


My dad was not able to see 
his grandchildren very often.
Great distance and other issues
meant less than 1 week a year.


I have guilt and regrets about that BIG time.
When we would get together, he was always
intent on making memories.


Dad died when my kids were still quite young
so their memories are mostly 
through photographs and my stories of him.

That is true for all of us,
we live on in the minds of those who knew us, or 
who have heard our stories from those who loved us.

I don't think there is a person who knew
my dad who does not have a story about how 
he helped them, guided them, taught them.

When my first husband heard of DJR's passing he wrote
me and told me that is was because of my dad that
he knew how to set up an efficient workshop,
and how he thought of him often while in that room. 

After his passing,
I discovered dozens of notes from stranded strangers
he had helped along the highways.

He had an enormous retirement party
and everyone came because they wanted to be there,
to tell of their times with him.

He hit the ground running early, 
and either worked until dusk or
played by fishing and gardening.
His frequent neighborhood parties were legendary.

He filled his days well 

Grace Honor Love

Happy Fathers Day PapPap


"memory believes before knowing remembers
believes longer than recollects,
 longer than knowing even wonders. 
knows, remembers, believes"
Faulkner




Saturday, June 9, 2018

Hopping Through June or The Hopscotch Mambo

Life these days is like playing hopscotch.
You hop, you jump and then you 
have to spin around in the air 
and go back the other way.

That's how I felt last night as I discovered 
I had a dozen comments awaiting moderation.
I never received an email on any of them. 
You gals who know me well must have thought
WELL, isn't she gettin' all snooty 
not responding any longer, as you all know,
 I ANSWER EVERY SINGLE COMMENT.

Even after the Where Women Create issue 
and then the book came out and 
there were over 300 in one week,
I answered every one that had an email.
Don't know how I'll fix this?

I've been hoppin' I've been jumpin' through hoops to
get a sense of normalcy and they throw this at me,
and just when I had fallen back in love with IG.
In my absence they fixed it so you can tell exactly
where you left off, the posts are back
 in a chronological order
and all those extra ads are gone.

When the hell did that happen?
oh who cares, WHOOT for IG! 
There are some new things of which I
have not a single clue but I'll learn. 

SO here comes the hop.
I was having one of those late night 
conversations with a pal Thursday, when I mentioned 
some things that shocked her and even though we've
discussed "everything" under the sun, 
and been friends many years,
do we ever really know each other?

We're back to the pondering here folks.
So I'm pondering June and how many Junes
I've experienced and I drag out the appropriate 
photo box, because you all KNOW 
it is organized with a capital O.
Oh that's another topic my pal and I covered.
The big O  hehe

I spy these

clockwise in the month of June
Senior Picture 71 - Our yellow corvette and me circa 79
College Sorority Junior year  73

Then these:
June 1971
summer session Clarion State College PA
In front of our dorm there was this puddle...

Little did we know then, 
the girl with her right hand on her hip 
and on the far left in can-can became my SIL
I'm in the red football jersey

and finally 

Me in Seoul South Korea in June of 80,
visiting my first husband on his 12 month remote tour.
Didn't know that about me did ya?
Those green overalls caused an enormous stir,
as no one told me that pants, let alone green overalls,
were not appropriate.

This whole thing then made me ponder blogging
and the faces we present.
How honest do we expect others to be?
Are we honest with ourselves?

Many folks have abandoned it
for a quick fix of IG and although it has it's place,
I am missing the chats and emails 
that formed unexpected friendships, 
where we really got into the nitty gritty 
behind the blog posts.
There are some die hards like me
that never did it for the numbers, 
but as a mini journal of my life 
and all the Junes I've had these past 10 years.

Z






Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Every Damn Day

I am fascinated by weird things I suppose.
I ponder things often and intensely.
Wonder where that came from?

I last bought gas on March 9.
I filled the tank today and I noticed.
I have 2 miles to go until my car reaches 2,000 miles.
Not a typo, not 200,000 but 2,000
and I bought my car Memorial Day 2017.
So 1 year and 2 days ago.
Round trip to CA included in that number (560miles)

My last car that I traded in had 
just turned over 80,000 miles
and it was 15 years old.

So is that weird because I drive so little?
Or weird/unusual because I don't need to,
 because of careful planning.


I consciously select to run all my errands 
on one day and I plan the route 
circling around until I am back home.

I've told everyone including the salesman, 
barring a recall or accident
this is my last car.

He called last week to ask why I hadn't been coming in for service.
TOLD you so lol
I can easily get 20 years out of this one which takes me to age 85


I very carefully selected my home 
based on price, number of bedrooms and location,
which as far as I'm concerned is the primo location.

If someday I am confined to motorized 
wheels in my older age, and I still live here,
and I've thought about this a lot;
I can reach every single thing 
I need in less than 1 block.

6 restaurants, hair salon, grocery store, Starbucks,
pet groomer, four banks, UPS, and an urgent care.

2 blocks gets me to library and an upscale outdoor 
mall with over a dozen restaurants, PB, Anthro etc.
Only think missing is a Target and I have 4 within 4 miles.

Most of my friends don't think  ponder these things.
They also don't have emergency kits
 and food and water stored.

My organizing, neatness, preparedness is all due
to DJR my Dad.
He pondered a lot and often. 
Always finding a possible/newer/better 
way to handle 
or build or arrange things.

You guys know all those boxes I have 
so perfectly arranged in my garage?
Well way back when, Dad brought home lidded boxes
that bulk typing paper came in.

He painted them all white with two coats of paint
to make them sturdier and to be able 
to be wiped clean, and nearly moisture proof.
He then measured and drew two pencil lines
 spaced apart, where he then stenciled 
the name of the contents!
You call me AR?

He was meticulous, principled, loving, kind, 
intelligent, funny, patient, faithful, and a great man
who was loved by so many.
I was the last person to talk to him.
I was alone with him,
 and lying by his side holding his hand when he died.

I miss him every damn day.

Look carefully at the tips of his fingers.

Z








Sunday, June 3, 2018

Pillow Passion


Sometimes you turn a corner and in a glance
your heart does a flutter and you just know
there is something you adore and must have.

The Opal brand at Target is darling daughter's favorite, 
and I thought I would peruse for possible gifts for her.

Instead, for the first time since Christmas, 
I bought something for me.
I am still on my downsize passion,
and I donated five things last week, so I'm still on 
the right side of the scale.

Isn't she pretty?
I usually make all my pillows,
and I always buy when something is on sale,
but oh, I just loved this pillow at full retail!

I have this GORGEOUS black/tan fabric
that I have hoarded for years
and plan to make additional pillows to 
be pillow gal's friend.

I know I'm anthropomorphizing a
silly pillow but I don't care.
It's been 10 months since first Dr's appt 
and I'm soooo over it.
Yesterday I broke one of my toes.
Yeah yeah I know....

*****

#45 is a fascist
His wife has disappeared, why is that
not #1 on every report?
(Please let her have come to her senses,
and please let her spill. Please let her true friends
help her and save her.)
Climate change is wreaking havoc daily,
but let's not believe in science.

We're playing games with a nuclear armed 
country with a psychopath in charge,
AND we've begun a trade war with many
 of our closest allies.

RESIST
and VOTE!!!

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Clean and Simple Pinkcredible


My windows desperately needed to be cleaned.
I removed all the screens, scrubbed them off
 and started on the glass.

I did one at a time, sat and rested, did another - repeat.



This is shot through the super clean glass!



Seriously clean

Friends will tell you I find good terrific products.
I like this one a lot. Not cheap, but you use very little
 and whoosh - clean.
Bonus- It smells like almonds
HSN


I decided to store the screens until fall
as I will not open these windows
 all summer during 100 plus heat!
Now that I have all the empty space
in the garage, I can easily do that.
The view is nicer and greener,
clean and simple.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Amazon Prime and Ring

RING!

There goes the Ring Doorbell


Flowers!
amazon prime

RING!

Food!
amazon prime



French Toast / Bacon
Breakfast Burrito and Home Fries
Holy Moly
Three meals

Call from Darling Daughter
and Tom

then

Call from Dearest Son and Helene

RING!

Food!
Cheer Up Food he says
Fat Hips Food
for days and days
amazon prime

I have such wonderful kids
I am so blessed


It's tough never being near them on 
Mother's Day, though I would never wish 
them to have to live here to be close by.
We all know what I need to do.

Amazon Prime can do everything else.
Can't they find me an affordable
 place to live near them?

RING
RING RING

Amazon Prime delivering Mama








Thursday, May 10, 2018

Let there Be Light



A few days before the kids arrived for the sale 
I finally got the outdoor lights strung onto the pergola.
I connected them to the lights on the vintage fencing 
that runs the length of the back yard.
It made for lovely outdoor dining
that night as we were all exhausted.
China a Go Go delivery and we were set. 
Can you believe that night sky?

Although I am still paying for the new backyard,
it was worth every penny as I am not 
constantly scrambling
to blow out leaves and clear debris.
It's so easy with a quick water twice a day of the 
pots that are not on drips.

Obviously I am still alive and kicking, though
the last week kicked my butt again something fierce.
I actually slept 8 hours last night,
which feels like a miracle as I've been getting 
barely 3 hours a day.

I watch out for a neighbors house in the summer
and yesterday they had flyers stuck in their door.
Rather than drag the tank down the street,
I hopped in the car in pj's and drove to their driveway, ran 
and retrieved the flyers and drove back home.
I get the mail late at night, and do drive thru's in pj's.
I now understand those old ladies in their housecoats 
in their yards back in Latrobe when I was growing up.
You no longer care, and it's so much easier.

Of course I am properly attired otherwise.
Not fancy, mind you, but at least wearing a bra.

I VERY hesitantly hope I have turned 
the corner for good. 
I remind myself to take it slow and easy,
(not easy for me) 
and have set a trip to PA and CA as my goals for fall.

Meanwhile, my much lighter home
is a joy to take care of,
and I have only a few remaining pieces of
furniture to unload.

If the universe allows - once I am able to 
downsize here or in CA I will be ready to go 
quickly and efficiently without being a burden
to anyone.

I cannot stress to you enough
how important these steps are as we age.
Important not just to our well being,
but as a loving gesture for those we leave behind.

Life can come and slam you upside the head,
look around, what changes do you need to make?

Thank you for all the kind emails of concern.
I'm a tough old bird and will push through,
though hopefully out of pj's eventually.
Months and months of nothing but pj's.



Friday, May 4, 2018

The Hits Keep On Coming

It would be hilarious 
if it wasn't so frustrating.

Felt punky by Sunday night
Felt tired Monday
Felt achy, feverish, lots of coughing Tuesday
Felt too sick to go to Urgent Care Wednesday
Felt it necessary to go to Urgent Care Thursday
Perhaps I overdid last weekend?

Guess who has Pneumonia?

GRRRRRRRRRRRR
My mantra all day has been

"There are folks with so much worse, buck up."

Mega prednisone in office and a breathing treatment.
(I've never had a Dr hand me three pills
 and a bottle of water before) 
x rays
3 antibiotics and a home nebulizer later.

I am on shut down mode.
Dr says if I am not markedly improved 
within 24 hours 
" hospital we will go"
I'm determined to be improved.
New guy has a new approach,
he's determined to fix me.

So once more I may be offline for a bit
Can't even remember last time I did IG


I'll close with this pic.
It makes me so happy, it's my screensaver.
This was from me visiting down in CA awhile back. 
So much has changed since then for them,
 but their sweet faces never do. 

Talk about three amigos...


Monday, April 30, 2018

The Three Amigos and The Sale


Howie David Tubs

How cute are they, and everyone behaved
 for the most part. The exception being for 20 scary minutes
on Sunday when Tubs hid from me
 and I was in a total panic I had lost 
Helene's dog while they were all out to breakfast.
I had just met my son's sweetheart for the 
first time 2 days prior!

She told me "he's a manipulative asshat"when I met Tubs,
 and I said "no he's adorable." 
Helene said "just wait..."
She was right.
Yeah, he can be a bit of a dick, but oh, he's also 
super smart and adorable.
We'll say mischievous instead of devious,
even though he almost gave me a heart attack.

SO

Friday night we had previews and set it up
as it would be for the Saturday sale 
all dragged out into the driveway
and the garage full.
Under the 7 tables were boxes and bins full.
Invited girls came and treasure hunted and visited.
When the pre-sale ended,
everything had to come back
into the garage, with all the tables and all the boxes 
tucked underneath.

It looked
like this

THEN

My pal Sue was headed home 
and couldn't find her purse.
It was somewhere in or under here.

We called and called it and searched inside house,
her car ...NOPE!

20 minutes- 30 minutes...

So I dropped to the floor and crawled under 
and Viola! Got it- but then couldn't get out.
The kids had horrible allergy reactions
to the horrible pollen and wind, and felt sick.
I was overwhelmed and needed O/2.
Annie broke a tooth. 

BUT
 Wonderful gals I hadn't seen in ages came by, 
lots of hugs and happy tears.

I behaved myself and barely insulted anyone.
My kids once again let me know
I am loved and appreciated.

A local gal who reads my blog,
saw our Craig's list ad, and figured out
with all the white, it must be my sale
and came by to say hello.
What a nice surprise. <3 
I hope she gets in touch again via email.

We all fell in love with a sweet gal named Nicole,
who came twice on Saturday and brought
her bestie to meet us. 
We are thrilled our things have found good homes
in their homes.
We love you Nicole and Jessica <3


About that Craigs List ad, I asked Ben to do it for me
as I was uber busy Friday.
I said in passing, 
"get a shot of the nice corner display if you can."

He did this, and a poem
See poem at bottom

 1






and lots more photos
(Sue still has the Sew Be It Dolls if any of you collect...)


I am convinced his great google phone photos
 were why we did so well. 

Then after:


One huge oversized truck load,
one SUV load to donations.

We walked the walk ladies.

You gals struggling with this issue,
pull up the big girl panties 
and let it go.

I kept one bag of vintage silverware,
and 2 bowls I occasionally used 
but felt I no longer "needed."

Everything else went bye bye,
good riddance.
It feels sooooo good.

I love my kids and those they love
I love my friends
I love my three amigos

I love that this nearly 5 month 
saga of the sale is flippin' OVER,
and a couple thou in the pocket doesn't hurt either.

Don't you just love the 
exhausting day after?

Thanks to all of you who still listen
and still offer me love and encouragement.

The Craigs List Poem

Meet the three women--not one over the hill
Whose houses were bursting. Stuffed to the gills!

So they pooled their belongings and grabbed what they got
And when piled together it was quite a lot!

There was furniture, quilts, and dinnerware too
Craft supplies, scrapbooks, buttons, and glue

Incredible vintage pieces a century old
Luggage and linens and holiday ornaments gold

A plate rack, a wood screen, and a huge chest of drawers
A nearly-new Eufy Robovac--for super-clean floors

There were dressers and tables all shabby chic
A brand spanking new Amazon Tap--if you're a bit of a geek

Paper punches, mannequins, and a couple bar carts
And a hundred more things from these sassy old... ladies

So if you like crafting or vintage and antiques galore,
Come see this sale and see what's in store!


still here 
still kickin'
Z



Thursday, April 26, 2018

Pretty - It Ain't Pretty


My pineapple guava in bloom for the first time 
after it's planting last Spring.
My bay laurel tree ( where bay leaves come from)
Peeking in from the right

Pretty
*******************

Ain't Pretty
*******************
Organized chaos 
Tomorrow we set up for preview
to invited guests
with the sale then on Saturday.


Of course the heat has arrived and the wind -
Of course!
This is only about 1/2 of the sale stuff
Furniture and two racks of clothing not pictured.
Not all mine - 2 gals joining in and now I hear
the kids are bringing sale stuff in their cars lol


Long day Friday, 
but we'll get 'er done.
Kids will be here by late tonight.
We hit the ground running early in the morning.

I have promised myself that no matter what,
anything of mine left over is to be donated.
Period
Even if I have to go inside while the kids fill the SUV 
so I cannot see what is going. Even if it takes several trips.

I am in love with empty drawers and closets,
the clean spaces under the beds, and shelf after shelf 
empty in the garage.

I am getting an inkling that this may cause
a rebirth of creativity for me as I feel that
finally all the flotsam and jetsam is gone.
I have been dreaming of paint and canvas 
and quilting. Yes! After all this time.

Whew!
Breath of fresh air,
and lord knows I need air.



Thursday, April 5, 2018

A Goldfish Out Of Water



While it is still difficult for me 
to work very long out in the yard,
I was able to tidy up the covered porch
 a bit yesterday morning.
It felt sooooo good 
to be outside and have my 
hands in the dirt and catching the scents
of cilantro, basil and mint.

Normally I wander Star Nursery for hours, 
but yesterday I managed a productive 30 minutes
 and came home after adopting two of these.

They call it a Goldfish plant


I stood there in the store,
staring at the delicate bloom

and 

thought

that's me

a fish out of water