Monday, September 9, 2019

It's Happening

Found this on pinterest
(no credit was given)

I fall into bed every morning, yep, morning
between 2-5am
exhausted, but then after strapping on
c-pap I cannot get to sleep.
But then I sleep in so it averages out.

So yes, I finally did get a c-pap.
The longest time used so far is 7 hours,
but that is deceiving as I am awakened
 multiple times during those hours.
But hey, I'm trying. 

I now have preliminary diagnosis
with both lung and heart issues.
The next round of Dr visits begins today
and will determine the next move.

Therefore the purge has reached epic proportions. 
Kids are coming in to help with large sale
the first weekend in OCT.

I have gone through the entire home,
 multiple times as I garner the will power
 to be ruthless during purging. 

Not knowing how much space I will
have to live in, or even what state NV or CA,
creates issues while trying to make decisions.

The area where I have struggled
is with studio supplies.
Will I ever use roving again?
How much fabric to keep?
I coveted those many army blankets I snagged
years ago but they take up so much space.

That is where many of you met me.
After the Where Women Create article 
and white wednesday studio tours.

I find myself growling often.
My pal Sue was over Saturday and sat in the 
heat in the garage with me and priced
 while I sorted and stacked.

she brought cookies

This was so easy peasy for me to do with clients;
 I couldn't figure out why I was moving
slowly and with more difficulty.

Then it was pointed out to me duh..
you're sick and you have no idea if you 
will have a 1 or 2 bedroom 
a garage, a yard, a patio....
Your clients knew where they would be.

so I have to prep in five stages

1. Everything I'm sure I don't need 
goes to charity now or sale.

2. Assume/pray I will have a second space for studio,
via addtl bedroom or garage and select
 only those studio items and furniture
 for said space to fit into 10x10 area.

3. Once new space and financials are determined
jettison any remaining furniture via social media.
Stop worrying where kids will sleep if they visit me here.
They aren't worried- "whatever Mom"
(that's a tough one for me)

4. List home after 26 years for sale in early spring.
That's a toughie- love this house

5. Be thankful I have any kind of home and 
belongings as so many do not.

It's happening

Health issues
Financial finagling
Downsizing big time

I'm rolling down hill, picking up speed

It's happening. 

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

I've Got Your Back Mom

I was purging the hall closet last night
where there is a mirror on the inside of the door.

I glanced in it and caught
my Howie lying behind me in the doorway
 of the guest room.

This Love is never more than 6 feet away from me.
He steps over my O/2 tubing as you can see and will 
trudge up and down the stairs as many times as I do.
He has bad knees, limited hearing
and failing eyesight now.

But he loves me, is devoted to me
and I am so blessed.

When I fall sleep and begin to have 
breathing issues he now nudges me
awake and stares at me until I say 
"It's Ok Howie go to bed."

If I ever need reminding that all my troubles
mean nothing in the big scheme of life,
this pic says it all.

I've got your back Mom

Saturday, July 20, 2019


is a large number

is also impressive

I turned 16 the day they walked on the moon.

The moon is my ruler in my astrological sign.

My astrological color is white ( no kiddin')

One of my astro lucky numbers is 20

Seems it's all heading somewhere...


Friday, June 21, 2019

Can Yunz Believe this?

Yesterday was to be my one day out day.
I get one about every 14 days or so.

Headed for a haircut and color at 10:00.

I was determined to hit the ground running
right after that, or shuffling at least, so I headed
to Michaels for some jewelry findings I had needed
for months to repair two necklaces.

Because I  had only slept 4 hours the night before 
due to more challenging, er, bad news
on the medical front, I found myself getting
a little weak and dizzy so decided to head home,
and skip Trader Joes which had been the "BIG" plan.

make plans, the universe laughs HA!

I pull into the garage and hit the garage door
remote and a hideous, screeching, crunching,
sound occurred and I hit the remote stop immediately.

When I opened the drivers side door,
I nearly peeked thru my fingers
 as I knew what I would see.
A crumpled door.

'scuse me but shit shit shit.

Called insurance I have 2000 deductible, 
they said get estimate first.
Called an emergency service and no kidding
 they were there in 30 minutes.

At first I was looking at around $4,000
to get the same quality door or around $2500
to get a bottom level version.

Maybe it was me cradling 
my head in my hands with tears drippin thru
and my O/2 canula hanging out...
but Clayton the tech says.
"Let me see what I can do."

Since I hit the button so quickly
 I did less damage than I could have.
Just under $1,000 later, not using insurance, and 
my door now closes, you cannot see the tears
in the panels from the outside
 and it's guaranteed for 3 years.

Clayton and I had a very spirited political discussion
while he was adding new springs and bolting new metal struts;
but it was respectful with no meanness or put downs.
We could not be more politically opposed,
but we parted with very good feelings. 

what did I do in a former life to have this karma?
(please don't say things could be worse as they are worse medically)

I need/want so much to get back to my old self,
no O2 needed, lose all the prednisone weight etc.,
be able to work.

I love this, and I am not making light of horrific crime,
I'm poking fun at me OK?


Happy weekend youins
(my homage to Latrobe slang")

A common informal word used in southwestern Pennsylvania and the forefront example of what is commonly known as "Pittsburghese" is the word yinz, pronounced /jɪnz/ in IPA. Alternatively it is less commonly used in long form, youins, pronounced /ju.ɪnz/.

I never knew anyone one who used yinz always spelled yunz

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Granddog And Friend

Darling daughter has been dog sitting 
for a neighbor.
(David the grand-dog on the left)

Yep, another Husky.

I think Hannah would take in
 a thousand huskies if she could.
Seems every time we speak
she is on a dog walk.
Oh, she also walks Tubs, my other grand,
after she leaves work 
as Tub's Mom and Dad work later.

Remember this shot?

All kinds of great things have been
 happening work wise for the fabulous 
CA four. I am so proud of all of them.
I also miss them. 
more than I can stand.

Once this medical mess is over 
or at least has progressed, 
I will be driving straight away to CA to 
hang with my favorite folks.

Meanwhile there is a towering stack
 of bins and boxes all labeled for a sale,
that are waiting in the garage for either 
cooler weather, or help, or both.

Plan to binge the first couple o' Handmaids Tale
tonight or tomorrow.
I'm saving up as there is now a drought in 
my viewing arsenal.

GoT gone

Killing Eve 
Gentlemen Jack
Russian Doll
Call The Midwife
Walking Dead
(all off for now)

There is Big Little Lies
I enjoy, but not the same passion.

I've avoided Netflix so I'll have some new 
ones for the summer.

I play silly games like that with myself.
I've been rereading in order, all the Robert B Parkers,
for the third time;
but at half my usual speed, not wanting them
 to end all over again. I will get the Spenser series continued
by Ace Atkins from the library,
 as I do not own them.
I think I may change my mind and buy them
after all. 

We're off to a hot summer already.
I am stressed about the overgrowth in the yard
and I will try to hire help this week.

Wish you were all closer.
There's some nice stuff stacked up for sale,
and I'd love for it to find good homes. 
Yeah I know, silly. 


I miss you Dad
every day.


Saturday, June 8, 2019

To my Unknowns

Just a quick note to 
Mary and Cathi.
I am unable to contact you :D

Thank you Mary for the upright MRI info.
I just found out about them last Friday.
My primary and I are working on it
 but the few who have one here in lala
do not accept my insurance. We're working on
an appeal to have them in network.

Cathi please go to my profile for my email
and then send me yours and I'll be happy to
send you the recipe.

To all those other folks who leave comments
but are unknowns:

Thank you so much for following along 
this life of mine. I love hearing from you.
I do wish that someday you would let me know 
who you are so that I can respond directly,
but I do understand folks who like to stay 

Again, you can always find my email in 
my profile in the sidebar for a private convo.

Several have asked about my holiday gifted website.
It is all on hold as dearest son is uber busy
and I want to have product ready when it launches
but alas, not enough product being 
created these days.

All my focus is on the purge.
Today it is fabrics. OUCH!


Thursday, May 23, 2019

A Little Birdie

Opened my porch door to the back yard
for awhile  and look who stopped by. 

He sat in various spots 
checking everything out
and then perched on the side of the window
wistfully looking out.

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Gosh Guys

Gosh guys is all I can say

Went for MRI on Friday
Lay down and got all strapped in, preparing for dye;
and I started to cough as usual when I lie flat.
It's a mucus thing, lord I hate that word!

I'm inside the bleepin' tube and start to choke
and I call out a very garbled 
"puel meee out!
He does, and sees I'm struggling to 
clear my throat,
rapidly undoes the strapping and helps me sit up
and I cough out a glob,
and proceed to cough off and on 
and spit for 
the next five minutes.
Lovely tech guys says
"This is not going to work."  

So my appt I waited three weeks for,
 as they screwed up the referral, ends with 
no answers and I still have this nodule.

E-visited my primary Dr. on Friday
What next?


Gosh guys, I'm at my wits end.

Darling daughter sent me
a St Raphael medal for Mothers Day.
I hold it every day, and I'm neither catholic or
believe in organized religion. 
I am however spiritual.

Dearest son and daughter to be, came
 for a weekend visit 2 weeks ago and helped me
 with so many chores and we talked CA move.

Darling daughter arrives this weekend
with two childhood chums for 4 glorious days.

I am one lucky Mom
in the kid category.

In the "health" category -
In the "our country is in real trouble"category-

Gosh Guys


my only consolation
Sunday nights trifecta of

 Killing Eve 
Game of Thrones 
Call the Midwife 

oh, and tomato pie

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Should I Should I Not?

Marked my calendar April 29, 2019

My master toilet tank on the second story,
leaked at the bolt while I was away
 from the house and created 
a huge water bubble on my kitchen ceiling.


Later I stuck the hose end into 
my outdoor fountain
 to fill up and walked inside
 to set a timer to remind me to shut it off.

The phone rang and it was the Primary Dr 
calling me, never a good sign, to say
I needed to call My Pulmonary DR
 and make an appt pronto. 


Which I did and they said can you come in an hour!!!
A little freak out, a quick shower 
and when I arrive he says, 
he's read the report but cannot see
the scan as they have IT problem.
He'll review and call me the next day.


They had said come in an hour as they
 had so many cancelations
due to rain but they DID NOT 
say that on phone. 
I could have avoided some of the freak out.

His assistant called very early today to schedule an MRI
as I have a 2 cm nodule in my chest.
Waiting for approval for an MRI end of week.
No sense describing it all now 
until I know how much trouble I'm in.


Remember the hose in the fountain?
Well, I remembered 20 hours later and only because
I went outside to scream at Mockingbird 
eating my guava blossoms again this year, 
and stepped into water. 


Next months bill should be fun

Couldn't decide to post-not post 
as it has been a downer for some time on here.
I'm sorry for that.
BUT this is my journal so here it is. 

Cheer up
Here are some puppies


If you tend toward prayers
throw one up for me will ya please?

Sunday, April 21, 2019

I Couldn't Resist

Well, plants anyway

The porch is full. I have to stop.
I want to be able to reach them to water 
without donning a portable tank.
I also moved one of the weather vanes over 
to a new location. Hopefully it will
stop falling over in this new spot, as I 
sunk it into the ground.

Hope everyone had a Happy Easter
Very sad day for others around the world.
Let's not forget them.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

How Does My Garden Grow

My neighbors vine is crawling over the wall
to join my garden. All visitors welcome.

I'm not going to have flowers
 all over the garden this year.
I'm trying to reduce the work load and stress.

I planted herbs that I use frequently
Italian parsley, cilantro, basil, and thyme
on the small covered patio just 
outside the kitchen window.
I can keep an eye on them this way,
and I finally picked up a moisture meter, so 
hopefully less plant demise this year. duh
Why did I wait so long?

I am up and about though still tethered to O2
I do everything at half my usual speed, make
that 25% of my normal speed. 

It is beautiful weather and I'm 
better than I was two months ago so 
yippee skippee

Gardens are healing places.
I am thankful for every day.

Happy Easter to you all.


Friday, April 5, 2019

A Kindness and Bite The Ears Off

Several weeks ago a dear blog friend Karen
sent me the sweetest gift;
this adorable elephant mirror.
I had admired it on her blog last year
 and she decided 
it needed to live here with me. 
It arrived at a pretty low point for me,
(continuing health drama)
making it even more special. 
If you don't know Karen, hop on over via the link
 in her name and browse for awhile. 
This is a special woman
 of many talents and goodness aplenty.
Karen, your gift sits across from the couch.
I see it constantly and I smile.
Thank you again.

Speaking of hopping, I had a memory fragment
the other day while at the market. 
 I flashed back upon what are now "vintage" Easter baskets,
 stored in my garage, and the Easter mornings
 I spent with my brother comparing our baskets
before dressing for church. 
Back then it was white straw hats and gloves,
 a matching dress and coat and patent leather shoes.
(I wasn't Catholic so I could wear them)
The other option was white sandals
 with white curly top anklets.
But what really got to me the other day
 was the distinct memory of "the rules" to eating 
a chocolate bunny. 
For some reason I believed then,
 and maybe even now that the first thing you did 
was to 

Bite The Ears Off


Wednesday, March 20, 2019

and So It Goes

Several weeks ago I tried to sell 
two of these milk cans I have, 
but I got no takers.
Bored one evening I decided I would take
 some leftover florals,
pretty it up a bit and sit it by the front door 
until my next sale when I will sell it as it is now.

Leftovers are always better. 

So two runs back to Urgent Care and I am 
still not great.
See the cardiologist today.
I'm not a huge fan of this guy.
We'll see if he stops typing long enough to 
learn what I look like. 
Back on O/2 full time - depressing.
CT scan of sinus throat etc next week.

I am sick of all of it as
I'm sure you're sick of hearing.
This is the only journal I keep 
so I keep dating everything
 in case I need it some day.

I did see a wonderful Dr in Urgent care
 but of course he does not have a private practice.
He really listened and gave me some good 
tips on fighting this.

Annie and I doing another sale probably in early May.
Hannah, maybe Ben, will be in to help
their poor decrepit mama.
My new name 
I was so hoping to go down there this month.
Patience is not my strong suit. 

These made me laugh

Been bingeing: How about you?

Russian Doll
After Life
Turn up Charlie
Working Moms

Seems the only thing I catch on tv anymore is 
Walking Dead - John Oliver and Bill Maher 
(  my kids now hate Maher)
and oddly enough North Woods Law (no idea why?)
Holding my breath for Game of Thrones
 and Killing Eve 

... and because I've been too ill to make it to library
I am rereading my entire collection of Robert B Parker
The Spencer series
Makes me so happy. 

Even though I am downsizing I am determined to buy 
as many of his as I can in hard cover, as I have 
so many in paper back.
My other wish is to get all the Louise Penny
in hard cover some day, but even paper back would 
be good as I have read all of them through the library.

When you love you love
 and I have been such a good girl
purging everything else.

and so it goes


Monday, March 11, 2019

New View and Same Old Sad Stupid Story.

Darling daughter Hannah threw a brunch engagement party 
for Dearest son Ben and Helene and their friends on Sunday.
Since it was just for the young folks I did not attend,
nor could I have as ...

I'm once again.... sick

Headed to Urgent Care again today for follow
up to antibiotics etc I got 6 days ago, as I am
no better, in fact in some regards worse.

I have barely slept in 3 days for when I lie down 
my lungs for all intents and purposes,
whistle. Yep, quite loudly whistle and wheeze.

I couldn't stand seeing that post another day so 
here are fresh pics and a new view.

Since I rarely leave the house these days, (no need to) and I 
hand sanitize and soap and water wash like crazy,
I cannot fathom how I got sick again.

AS for everything else, it is one big stall,
until the big cardiology reveal end of this month.

My Smith's market just began home delivery with perfect timing 
for me. Although it is a mere block away,
just shopping while using o/2 and feeling like kaka felt overwhelming to me 
and Howie needed dog food.
Yesterday I ordered soup, ginger ale, 
dog food, bagels and 
orange sherbert. Within an hour ding dong.
 For me, 3.99 
delivery was a bargain.

I need to drag my sorry ass to UC,
so for now a new view but same old sad stupid story.
2019 WAS looking promising after
Kicked My Keister 2018.


Sunday, February 24, 2019

Good Friends

Justice and Liberty 
many years ago.
They are sleeping on the stair landing 
with their noses at the edge.

They were great friends.
When Libbey passed, we got
Eisenhower (Howie) and 
Justice tolerated him but never really 
loved him the way she did Libbey.
Perhaps she just couldn't bear the replacement.

People friends are like that also.
There are many folks we get along with
 and enjoy but if we're lucky we connect more deeply
with a few special friends.

If someone had told me 10 years ago
 I would have such deep blog friendships,
 I may have been skeptical.

I have several life long friends, 
a few multi-decades long friends,
and several gals I have never met but we've
been through the trenches together.

I was lucky to meet a blog friend Chania 
years ago and we spent a day together here in lala.
My pal Carole and I have spent weeks
 where we talked every single day, 
yet have never met face to face.
We know all "the good stuff" about each other.
(they both use IG now)

Friends, even good ones, can leave your world
for various reasons. Misunderstandings, betrayals,
distance, life changes can all disrupt. Since becoming ill
I've had a few just ghost out of my life, which hurt
but I guess I get it, well maybe I do?

Then and again a very kind soul
unexpectedly wanders in.
 In my case Colleen was not a stranger,
we've followed each other for years
 and exchanged comments and emails.
She had recently asked me a question and I said here's my
number just call me- it's faster.

We made a date for the call last week,
and three hours later I was sharing
my life with the dearest soul.
We took to each other like ducks to water.
I had no idea three hours had passed,
but then that's how it is when 
you make a heart to heart connection.

Shortly after the call 
Colleen showed me such a kindness
that I was weeping all over my keyboard.
I felt the world was a little kinder as
it's been beating me up lately.

I will do anything to help make 
her current dreams come true.
She is planning to do classes 
using her wool artistry up in Canada and 
perhaps in the US.
She was curious about my Gatherings 
where I used to teach and hope to do again someday.
Without a seconds hesitation,
I said use my house for a retreat!

My location and accommodations are perfect
for something like that since folks come here anyway.
Lord do they come here!!!!!

She is currently going to put out feelers
to see what kind of response she gets locally and 
in the states.
She lives up near Vancouver so that too is ideal.
If you love wool and want to learn some great
techniques and projects 
then lets do it.

Excellent teacher, great food, perfect location.
You can walk 2 blocks to PB, Williams Sonoma and 
Anthropologie and 12 restaurants from my front door. 
Well, and then, there is VEGAS.

So let me or Colleen know if 
you're interested in Vancouver or here, or 
maybe she could teach near you? 
CA would be nice? hehe. What wool 
projects would you enjoy?

I have one more favor.
As I was thinking about this post I remembered,
so many dozens of gals who did white wednesday, 
and other themed posting groups
and were here at blogspot near the beginning. 
Oh, how we used to comment and check in often.
I knew your kids names and your pets
and hopefully encouraged your dreams as you did for me. 
Now most gals do IG, or FB.
I get it, it's fast, but oh I miss hearing from you,
and following your days.
So here's the favor-

Please leave me a hello here, 
let me know you're still out there,
or let me know you, if you've never commented.
A simple "hey, it's me Mary", or a HI, 
and give me your IG, so I 
can find you again, or meet you.
If you don't blog, just email me.
My email is in my profile.

I hope to hear from you.
there are posts where thousands visit 
but 99% are invisible to me.
Please, please just say Hi.

I would be so grateful.


oh lord the wrinkles!