Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Beginning-The Middle

Yeah, I've been absent.
Still feeling punky but no complaints,
it is a process one must endure to
 come out the other side.
If you have no beginning, no middle,
there will be no end.

Much is going on in my small world,
some pretty sad and awful, some glorious,
just like your life I suppose.

Again, another process; 
the good, the bad and the ugly.
All part of a day, a week, a life.

The last buds of the year on my sorely neglected bushes
tell the simple story.

They open so quickly, giving great joy,
and then vanish, as if they had never been.
Yet I am sure the root of them 
will return and visit me again.
I have been equating a lot of my memories
to this phenomena.
As each decade goes by, I discover more far flung 
memories have arisen to the surface, 
showing me my journey.

Remembering vividly the love and passion I 
 had for a boy over 40 years ago; 
the vision of a hillside and a summer night, 
is overpowering.
My Mother's voice, my Father's smile,
I close my eyes and they are within reach
of outstretched fingertips.

How often did our elders tell stories of their past, 
as we sighed and listened once more 
to a song of joy or a tale of woe?
Now, I am the elder re-experiencing
what has come before, and wishing to 
retell and relive while still anticipating
new beginnings.

I have been practicing being still,
and when I succeed completely,
 oh, how the memories freely
return in abundance.
Not all are happy, but then
sorrow was part of the process back then also.

The bruised and falling petals are
reminders of past betrayals,
yet they do not lessen the beauty
of the rose in it's glory, in it's middle.

Perhaps it is merely the season
that causes the melancholy,
yet I embrace Fall with arms flung wide.
I nestle in tight, and I ponder and I fret,
and I relish and I remember.


Al said...

Beautiful, and very thought provoking post. Sending you sweet wishes for sunlight, fresh air, and peace. said...

What a a beautiful post today. You do have a way with words. I hope tomorrow will bring you more happy memories. Today will be the memories of the future so I am trying to make them memorible in a good way.
~Debra xxx
Capers of the vintage vixens

Low Tide High Style said...

I'm sorry you are still a little under the weather, but I'm glad you are muddling through. It's funny, I was thinking about that movie When Peggy Sue Got Married, the other day. When it first came out I was too young, just newly married, to understand what it really meant. The other day it hit me, that scene where she goes back and says to her mom, "you look so young!" and I completely comprehended the whole movie in a way I never had before. The happy and the sad times are what make us who we are, I guess that's why they call it the fabric of our lives, frays and all!

Kat :)

Claudia said...

A lovely post from the heart. I hear you.


Susie~From My Home To Yours said...

I don't know what to say....but I'm crying here...

sharon said...

A very eloquent post Z, that will surely bring a tear to your childrens' eyes. I think you have echoes very beautifully what we all have tucked away somewhere.

Linda said...

That's the kind of post that has me thinking...I've been feeling that way too...I thought it was just me!

time worn interiors said...

Girl are you OK?

Deep post!


Razmataz said...


The Boston Lady said...

You have summed up your feelings in a poignant fashion Suzan - I can relate to just about every word you wrote. There must be something about fall that causes us to reflect on what was - perhaps all the gatherings that are to come, for most of us. This time of year is when I miss most those who are no longer in my life. I'm in the middle and look forward to emerging not to the end, but to the rest of my life, which I hope I can appreciate as wonderful. Wow, see what you made me think and say? Ann

Anonymous said...

I think it's a mixture of the season and our age. Until recently I already knew all those things but with everyday life it kind of got pushed to the side. Now it's more like feeling a bit in limbo. I don't much care for limbo. Your certainly not alone in your feelings. Then we push the feelings aside and get on with it.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Suz, some things always "haunt" us. It's the bittersweetness of life.

Sending hugs to you!

TheCrankyCrow said...

You're a very gifted wordsmith Miss Z....Very poignant, melancholic and bittersweet post that all of us who are "there" can relate to. The grayness of the skies these days and the bite of the air make me retreat a bit too and then I see the sun peek through on the frozen and overripe corn and make it shine more golden than any summer's sun could do and remember why autumn is such a very good place to be. Hope things are well with you...Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin

jojo said...

beautiful, heartfelt post...I always seem to get this way as the season changes. Hope you are well eh?

Rebecca said...

The whole time I was reading this I was thinking the same thing Tot wrote, are you alright?
The post was beautiful but very melancholy...
I hope you feel better and I pray the season brings about a contentment and peace.
Blessings my friend

Jane said...

Hi Z,
I don't know where to start....I've been such an absent blogger of late and I'm just now catching up on posts. First, I hope you are feeling better. I know it's no fun to be down with a cough and cold.
Second, it looks like you had a wonderful Gathering class. The project looked fabulous and the girls really looked like they were having a good time.
And last, but not least, the adventures of Smudge/Houdini!! What a cutie. He's so lucky to have found your home when he was lost. I'm glad he found a new home with your friend.
Take care and feel better soon!

Kathy said...

Suzanne,this is a glorious and poetic post. I had to read it over three times. I thank you for the good read and I'm hoping you are okay.

Bead and Needle said...

Have a peaceful day, Z...hope you're feeling completely better soon!

Theresa said...

so true, so true. this was beautiful, in every way. i hope you are feeling better and have a fabulous weekend! t. xoxooxoox

Grammy Goodwill said...

That is a beautiful post.

cityfarmer said...

I've seen your name pop up now and then ...can't believe I've not seen your blog ...

we must be on the same wave length ...

hope you feel better
sniff sniff

Faded Charm said...

Such beautiful words and photos to go along with them. I hope things are going well despite what you write. Life certainly has a lot of ups and downs doesn't it?

Not sure if you read Nicholas Sparks, but he is my favorite author and I just read his latest book " the best of me" and didn't put it down for 5 hours. He always has a way of making me laugh, cry, feel grateful and wish for do overs in life practically all at the same time.

Take care my friend,

Kristin said...

Oh, how I love you!

A Cottage Muse said...

And I applaud you and this post!
Makes me happy and ponder this morning, thank you!

Susie said...

Hello Suzanne, Honey, I understand exactly what you are saying. Fall gives me the blues at times also...but I love it so much too. It makes me miss those that are no longer with us. Like my parents. I cry, then I pray. You be the strong woman you know you are. God is good. You are blessed with many friends. Smiles, Susie

Norine ~rosethoughts~ said...

My heart hurts...beautiful writing.
Hugs to you,

Cindy said...

This is a very soulful blog. I hear what you are saying about our journey in life.
I am glad you are being still and listening to your heart. Sometimes, that is just exactly what needs to be done.
Much love to you!

Donna said...

Very deep and thought provoking my dear! I do hope all is well and that your middle is providing memorable moments for you to think about when you are old. I have had you on my mind lately but no time to call! Will do so after the event and we can catch up on all that ails and mends.
Loved the post Z and your roses...look amazing!
hugs from here,

beth said...

now i'm thinking of you and hoping you're feeling better and less punky....xoxoox

June said...

Please take me back,TAKE ME BACK!
I have been such an awful friend and this post really got me thinking. And then finding out you have been under the weather. I haven't meant to be absent here, it's because every time I think about you and how long it's been since I've seen into your world, I am knee deep in the garden and when I do come in, I forget everything I thought of all day while digging.
Great post and it has me thinking...
love to you!