Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Butter Rum


Life sends us signals all the time, 
if we pay close attention.
What does this have to do with Butter Rum lifesavers?
A lot

You see my dad loved lifesavers, and often 
had a roll in his pocket, for special times of need.
When standing in the yard 
pondering his next garden project,
or quieting a very fidgety 
daughter during church sermons.
He would offer a lifesaver to a neighbor
 who had wandered by and 
they would stand there in the yard, 
my dad's feet spread far apart, a shifting of his hips
 and his arms folded across his chest, settling in, 
very much at peace with the moment.


Butter rum was a favorite of his and certainly mine.
I don't think I've had a lifesaver 
or even noticed them in many, many years.
Until today.
There were the rolls, right in front of me,
and suddenly dad was in my mind and heart
 as if he was standing by my side.
Saying "now Suzy, what's the matter?"
"Here, have a lifesaver", 
as his thumb popped one off the top.
 I wanted to say, "You see I'm very
sad about several things and confused
 about how to handle 
some situations and I'm so weary of 
figuring it out all alone.

I wish you were here, I still need you here."

Then... seeing those silly little rolls of butter rum, the only flavor they carried, I knew he was here.

Always in my heart 
guiding me to do the right thing, 
all those lessons learned at his side;
to stand up for what is right, and for myself.
To keep my word even if it meant sacrifice on my part.
To aid each friend, neighbor and stranger,
 as he always did. I struggle at times to live up
to that ideal, I think we all do, but he never faltered,
never wavered in his commitment to his family,
his country, his neighbors.
My dad's birthday would have been Friday.
I think perhaps he was just checking 
in on me today to see
how I've been doing, a little cosmic butter rum
reminder of who he wanted me to be.
I pray that Ben and Hannah will
honor the lessons I leave behind, most of them 
the same lessons he passed to me;
and recognize the signs when I 
come check in on them.

so to you my friends..
Here,
have a life saver;
they're Butter Rum

30 comments:

Kit said...

Well, you got me crying. Your blog was wonderful. I love the "recognize the signs" part. My daughter has often said, she doesn't know what she would do if I were gone. I told her, I will never be totally gone. Just like your Dad. Kit

My Blessed Serendipity Life said...

How sweet! I do believe that your daddy must of been smiling as you popped one of those butter rums in your mouth. I am sorry that you don't have your daddy here, but it sounds like he taught you an awlful lot and I can tell that you both shared a special bond.

xo,
Danielle

Snappy Di said...

Butter rum has always been my favorite flavor too... enough with the rainbow colors.. just give me a good old butter rum and I'm a happy girl!

TheCrankyCrow said...

Awww...that put a good zap in me. I was never a huge life saver fan - but I could never, ever, resist those butter rums. I love that your daddy checks in on you...Mine does too...Smiles & Butter Rum Hugs ~ Robin

Romeo said...

Oh geez, I am sitting here bawling my eyes out - excuse me if I type a wrong letter....Butter Rum is the only flavor of lifesaver that I like. Add to that, moments like this that leave me forever humble and knowing that those we love are still here, and feeling those signs sent from them. Oh heck - you got me good this time.....with a post full of love and being real....you are one of a kind special....

Hugs,

"Her" and purrs and head bonkers of comfort from Romeo

Faded Charm said...

Don't you love how the memories of our loved ones pop up at different times. I do think they are a sign for us to remember them and they are still there for us if we really need them:-)

Sorry you are sad and going through tough times righ now my friend. I may not be close, but I'll always lend an ear.

Take care,
Kathleen

FRENCH LAUNDRY said...

OK, tearing up. I love that story. I think your dad was trying to give you comfort and those Butter Rums got you in touch with what he was trying to give you...peace.

Smiles,
Judy

LE CHEMIN DES GRANDS JARDINS said...

Très émouvant. Belle preuve d'amour pour ton père qui malgré son départ est toujours à tes côtés.Bien amicalement

Roger

The Boston Lady said...

Oh Suzan, the comfort we receive from our parents, even after they are gone. I often think of my mother and how happy she would be about certain events in the very near future and I wish to channel her quiet confidence and tastefulness. My dad, I've thought of him often while visiting your area of LV. He took me here in 1969 in his little Cessna plane it was our great adventure together. Now I get to have unlimited fun with my husband - have already done Hoover Dam and Boulder City. Red Rocks and Mr. Charleston await us when our son and FDIL come for the weekend. HOT, but fun. Memories can be sad, yet happy at the same time. Ann

MosaicMagpie said...

Tears running down my face. What a great post. I have also lost my father and when those moments come where I feel him by my side...just a little touch of heaven. I liked your description of him standing in the yard, I too could see him there.
Deb

Theresa said...

What a beautiful tribute Z. I am so glad that he popped in on you when you most needed him. I find that my mom does that too. I am sure that Hannah and Ben are most grateful to have a mom who cares so deeply about the important things in our lives. Integrity, honoring your word and friendship. They are blessed to have you and your lessons.
I hope today is a better day.
Starting it off with another butter rum lifesaver is a perfect idea.
love, t. xoxooxo

Jill said...

What a gift you received and how loved you are still by your father and our Father who allows us these signs! I will always think of you now and offer a prayer for you when I see butter run life savers. How incredibly PERFECT that your father can reassure you with a candy called LIFE SAVER....

Norine ~rosethoughts~ said...

Thank you Suzan.
Nothing like a Butter Rum Lifesaver to warm the soul...Happy Birthday to your wonderful Dad. He must be truly missed.
Norine

Jillayne said...

What a post.
I love it when something like that happens - those odd things that are so completely out of place that you know there is a message in there for you.
Taking the time to leave a legacy like your father's means those you love will never be completely alone.
My beloved Grandmother died many years ago but I hear her all around me at times, knowing exactly what she would think or do - so, so comforting.
Thanks for the treat - it was indeed delicious.

Bead and Needle said...

I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO love this post...it's pretty much left me speechless. Happy Thursday, dear Z! Tanya

www.MaisonStGermain.com said...

That is so sweet. I am sure he is watching over you smiling about the wonderful woman that you are. Those 'lifesavers' were meant for you have:)
~Debra xxx
Capers of the vintage vixens

Linda said...

What a wonderful tribute to your Dad...and he had good taste...butter rum are the best!!

Cindy said...

I just got thru crying my eyes out after puttng my dad on the plane after his visit. He is nearly 80 and still full of spunk. But he is getting older and it is breaking my heart. Your post is so sweet and your dad is a true hero! Not many men left like our dads! He will always be in your heart, and a pack of butter rum lifesavers...hugs to you...

Kathy said...

This is a beautiful post!
My mother loved to fill up piggy banks and whenever I heard there was a shortage of pennies I always thought oh-oh... To this day, every single time I find a penny on the ground I consider it a penny from heaven and I hold it up and say thank you, Mom, I love you too.

Anonymous said...

What's going on I think there are many of us feeling this way....a bit lost and looking back. I guess it's this upside down world and missing our children. You know when our kids were young we thought we were taking care of them but they were taking care of us too.

I'm sure your children will be just as beautiful as you.

Peace be with you,
Kathy

Razmataz said...

Ah sweetie.....the life savers were a sign...your papa is looking out for you. You and not dealing alone...he's nearby.

Hope you are OK. Email me if you want to talk.

Chania xxxx

Anonymous said...

Me again.

The first thing I thought of this morning when I saw the news was you and your children. Prayers are going out to all of you. I'm sure everything will be fine. Just what you need is one more thing to worry about. That's a tough city they'll weather through it.

I'm the person who's daughter moved from NYC to England...about the furniture. Anyway we were worrying about the riots that broke out and she escaped to the country to avoid that mess. If it ain't one thing it's another!! I have to improve my easy come easy go mind set haha.

Peace,
Kathy

Jane said...

Hi Z,
I love this post. I really do believe your Dad was standing there with you. His strength was sent your way when you needed it most. A lifesaver with so many meanings.
Happy Birthday to your Dad. Have a wonderful weekend.
Jane

from me to thee......... said...

what a wonderful post, made me want to cry....I too miss my mom and dad very much....what a special dad....hugs to you.....

Jacqueline said...

sweetly put Z. I always am reminded of my old Mum when I find a penny on the ground. It was she who told me that when this happens "someone in heaven is thinking of you". Her way of saying she was always going to be around, in some fashion or other.

Amy Kinser said...

What a gift your dad left you...wonderful memories of a wonderful man.

God bless you.

Doni said...

Precious Post....I'm still wiping my eyes. Our flavor was Wint-O-Green! My Granddaddy and daddy both loved that flavor, and it's now my favorite life saver flavor too. Won't it be magnificent when God reveals to us that world that we can't yet see? I wonder just how many loved ones are near us, or how often I've really NOT been alone. I often think of my mother who passed away last year. She loved her needlework and I inherited most of her items...we were so much alike. I think of her every time I go in my craft room and see her things...my things...we're one when I'm there.
Thank you for a lovely post, and for bringing to mind my own loved ones.
Blessings,
Doni

June said...

I know these signals are certainly an intentional way to get our attention from the ones we love too Z. Just reminding us that love continues on forever. What an awesome post! I remember the one about the reflections of light you wrote about knowing your mom was there. Yes, I sure hope our children 'see' we are thinking of them in the future.
love to you...

A Cottage Muse said...

Goosebumps and tears...and a butter rum lifesaver, my favorite.
Thank you for this beautiful post!

Cindy Craine said...

OK my first visit and you made me cry. It's settled I'm coming back for good!! I also loved the garage sale post...I'll take the lil fuzzy butt going under the table, what a cutie! Thanks,xoxoxoxo,cindy