Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Alice Kae

Today my Mom has been gone 7 years. I've been struggling with what to write about Mom because our relationship was complicated. That is putting it mildly. I can hear my close friends saying "duh".

I loved Mom and she loved me, but that does not guarantee an easy relationship. I tried to write on Mothers Day but the day came and went. This morning I noticed the date and thought, it's time. Time to pay homage but to do it with honesty.

Still blocked, I stepped away from the computer to get some tea and as I walked through the living room, I was shocked to see the rainbow display. I have talked about these in an earlier post, but I have never had a display this time of year and never to the degree that you see here.
The enormous rainbows inexplicably covered every wall and surface from ceiling to floor.

It gave me pause. I have been know to wax poetic on occasion, so bear with me here please. Suddenly I felt Ma around. In fact I felt her screaming "listen to me, pay attention. This is for you. Remember me well"....and the tears began to flow. The good tears, the ones the rainbows bring. After the storm, when so much has been lost, appears the rainbow, begging to be followed to a better place.

Suddenly my dilemma was a non issue. I loved Mom, she loved me. Nothing more need ever be explained or hashed out or examined.

Mom, I miss you, I love you. You would be so proud of your grandchildren. Be at peace, I remember you well.



clustres said...

Truly poignant and beautiful. said...

Oh, that is beautiful. She smiles in rainbows for you. I got goose bumps reading your post. I am happy for you:)
Blog: Capers of the vintage vixens

Julie@beingRUBY said...

Oh Suzan
That was perfect.. a perfect tribute and your mum sure nows how to turn on the dazzle when making her presence felt... I think she may have popped in to help her girl feel better.

You know my mum's birthday was a few weeks back and I still cannot find the right words... You've done well my friend.. xx Julie

Susanne said...

Glad you're both at peace now, with tears and a smile, Susanne.

Kiki said...

Gorgeous words Suzan..hugs! A beautiful experience..wonderful post!Magical!

katie said...

So happy for you. The song " somewhere over the rainbow" keeps coming to mind. Peace sweet peace.

joanne said...

beautiful~~thank you for reminding me that it really isn't complicated at all.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I love your post! I have chills and watery eyes:)


P.S. Is your blog layout different? I love the look!

Bead and Needle said...

Wishing you lots and lots of rainbows, Suzan! Tanya

Alaina said...

You have no idea how much I know how you feel and understand what you mean. I am glad you found a sign from your mother. I find buttons. Thank you for posting this.

June said...

Z, I think this is the most beautiful post I've ever read to date. It gave me chills, but warmed me at the same is that even possible? I think you just made cry. Oh yes you did! The good kind of tears.
love you,

Cheryl~ZanyMayd said...

What a Beautiful Post ~ I hope all the Rainbows eased any pain that you may have held in Your Heart, They sent a Strong Message of Peace..... Thank you for Sharing

Razmataz said...

Hi Suzan. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and to leave me such lovely comments. I have had time this evenign to sit down and start reading yours and ended up here. I understand complicated relationships. I had a complicated one with my father.

Your blog has such a variety of topics. I know it will be good reading.