WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?

What are the chances that I would burn my left forearm 

badly..(we're talking big scar ) about two weeks ago 

and then tonight badly scrape the right hand about 3" worth 

and then burn right above the scrape on the oven shelf 

about an hour later?

100%

What are the chances that I would offend at least three

customers (jackasses) at the garage sale today?

100%

What are the chances that after the garage sale, 

I would be so hot and tired that I would 

just drop my pants on the kitchen floor

 and start cleaning up in the garage

 sans pants, and then proceed to 

sit on a chair in my underwear in the garage

 and laugh with my SIL for another 90 minutes after 

we had already spent the day together?

100 %

What are the chances that I would be starving at 10pm

 and be too lazy to put my pants back on

 and drive through the Wendy's drive thru, 

and consider just throwing a towel across my lap?

100%

What are the chances I am even lazier than a person

 who would go through a drive thru with a towel as attire, 

and decide to cook a frozen pizza instead?

100 %

When removing that pizza from the oven

 what are the chances that upon burning hand on oven

 I would tilt pizza paddle and drop pizza face down on floor?

100 %

What are the chances that I would invoke the 2 second rule?

What are the chances that I would sit bare thighed

 on a wooden chair to eat fuzzy pizza 

and peel off the first layer of skin 

upon arising?

100%

What are the chances a good bud would find a darling house

 in CT for me under 200,000, 

within 4 hours of my Daughter talking about 

maybe moving to LA post graduation?

100%

What are the chances that this is my last NEVER AGAIN

garage sale? (I'm taking odds on this one :D)

What 

are 

the 

chances 

that I

have incredible

friends 

here in my life in lala land

and here

in blog land?

100%

Sights Sounds and NEVER AGAIN Around the Old Homestead

The weeks are rolling by

and I'm not sure if that makes me happy or not.

I suppose any week we're all still here is a good one.

As to the day to day, I have been working

 on some projects and solving "issues".

One issue is Justice falling down and up? 

the stairs in the middle of the night. 

A bevy of night lights has not solved the problem.

Not good for the sleep deprived,

 and no thrill for Miss Justice either.

I had this fencing in the garage for some time, 

waiting to be sanded, cleaned, painted and installed.

It was too narrow for the spot but the shoe basket fits perfectly 

in the gap and the problem was solved.

You would think, wouldn't ya?

Except remember the other pooch that dwells here?

Howie?

It took him all of 30 seconds to realize
 he could swing the gate open, 
and passage was once again possible.

Until I figure out a pretty solution 
a loop of rope solves the problem at night.

You would think wouldn't ya?

Around two 2 am, having just shut off the bed lamp, 
a light scratching could be heard..
Upon investigation I discovered it was not scratching, 
but chewing, as Howie attempted to chew his way
 through the basket to get to me.

Now they are both spoiled and have always 
had total access to the house..
well except for the bathtubs. 
Justice likes to jump in and out of them
 and I find the dog hair remnants gross... so no tubs..

Anyway they come and go up and down all night

so I felt the separation would be OK 
as they have four dog beds on the first floor. 

You would think wouldn't ya?

When I let Howie up to join me to stop the chewing, 

Justice woke up, realized she was alone and started to howl.

Howie joined in and once again I'll owe my neighbors
 some damn good cookies at the holidays..

Justice having all her bones unbroken is a priority,

learn to deal with it Howie.

My car was broken into (again).
(So insurance, police reports, fun stuff)

It was parked in the driveway because my garage
 is filled with stuff for that garage sale
I am NEVER going to have again.
The 2nd annual NEVER AGAIN sale is the 29th.

You remember I even threw away all my special flower signs
 after the last one? Well...what can I say....

some other gals wanted to have one too...so...
OK OK no excuses..I really don't know why?
WHYYYYYYYYYY?

The first couple piles, waiting to be sorted and priced.
I could cry..
"GoodWill I'm coming"

My 20 year old ash tree is succumbing to some horrible disease that has struck the majority of ash in lala land, and I am so saddened by it's condition.
Sadder still will be me up in the tree with a chain saw.
How old do you have to be before you 
stop thinking you can do anything?

When I decide to do these umm... "projects" I call up 
my SIL or my daughter on my cell and make them listen
 for my scream or fall so that they can then call for help..
from across town or 2,000 miles away.
What? You see a flaw in my plan?
I do this for gutter, roof, window washing and trees....
The chatting keeps me from being nervous and I like 
to speculate that I might actually survive the BIG FALL...

Made a couple more of these
in several sizes, some may show up on Saturday.
****
just in case I get bored this week...
Thinking of repainting the kitchen cupboards-
yard work needed - about 2 full days-
toilet repair-
sprinkler repair-
recover free chair given to me-

dogs groomed
carpet cleaned pre holidays
(these last two from sale proceeds)

oh, and play Tarzan in the ash tree.

Z

Shoes and Sighs

Dearest son was here for the weekend.

We dined out and at home,

chatted much, sipped white wine one day,

red the next,

...watched the Steelers.

Heavenly stuff to a Mama who misses him so.

I glanced down at his shoes yesterday, and was

shocked, appalled, dismayed at their condition...

Not just old and shabby,

but literally falling apart.

"Oh BEN!"

"What?"

"Your shoes!"

"Yeah, so?....

They're comfortable."

"ARGHHHHHHHH!"

I expected to see newsprint poking out a-la Depression.

He loved  loves these shoes.

Had them resoled once.

Then couldn't a second time..

SHOULDN'T a second time..

in Mom's opinion anyway.

I have to beg my kids 

to let me buy them anything.

Perhaps they fear that in old age I will descend upon them 

if my funds run dry...

But I wheedled and pulled out the big guns..

"But it will make me so happy to do this for you."

BIG sigh son...OK

Off to the stores this morning.

Now I don't DO malls...EVER..

so we started with smaller independent places

 and when that failed, I was forced to venture

into the most dreaded of places.

a Mall..ugh, spit, retch...

After up and down escalators

and the lengths both ways,

Success!

Beautiful new boots that he pondered over 

for some time.

I swear I've bought cars faster.

We caught a quick lunch and headed home where

 he could hop in his car and head back to LA.

I said let me shoot those shoes..

I wanted proof and agreement from other Moms

that these shoes sucked, no really..C'mon!

Hugs and kisses, I love yous all around...and....

"Uh Mom, you know I'm still gonna wear these right?"

BIG sigh Mama...Yeah

A Good Mom

Look Justice, 

Mom put a gate across the front door so we can look out 

and bark at everyone going by.

I bet they think we're fierce.

Mom did it so she could mop the floor and keep

us distracted so we wouldn't track through the wet.

She's a good Mom.

An experiment

              

Couldn't sleep 

again

With tv on in the background, watching very sad

911 stories....

and web surfing

I had a notion about the things

 I say...

I write

all day every day

So I went to my sent folder and opened them one by one

 since Sept 1st to see my pearls of wisdom.

HA!

This is an experiment you all should try.

A little insight into self and how we may be viewed

 and how we share..

So here are snippets from emails that I sent to family and friends.

I'll be making an appointment with

a health care professional tomorrow. :D

*****

YOWZA!

helloooooooo

Copper is hard to watch..makes me nervous.. :D

you're still my bestie 

when I like something, I really like it

damn that's cute

After all these many years I am still trying to shape the person I will become. :D .. It's a lot of work! 

Ya gotta love Peter O'Toole.

I think we should go to NYC for Christmas....hmmm?

if Halulas was still there on Route 30 I would make you stop and have a rolling rock on me...

If you ever need help or ideas just holler

It feels good doesn't it? I have to get my endorphin rush somehow

you still up?

things ok?

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Sarah filled me in

Are you still jumping up and down?

If I'm awake for one more sunrise I may have to kill myself by sundown.

I had been asleep about an hour @6:36... I'm so tired today I could cry.

WTF?

certain days I just miss you guys more than I can bear...

other days I just miss you oodles 

mama

.....damn I'm old.

Why are you awake? shrug..menoPAUSE!!! Of course you could have called me ..I was reading until 4:15

until then I hibernate in reverse

I am still miserably hot at night. Sheets in a ball by morning lol

I am a fall/winter girl living in the desert....damn.....

I'll take em I'll keep em..and never give them back

we love them, they love us and life keeps on going...

be easy on yourself for awhile

You'll do great. I'm a tiny little speck in your back pocket cheering you on 

love you

mama

even though I have no excuse not to do it myself...

no worries... life is a roller coaster

I love me some fall leaves and crisp air

do I hear an amen?

when they discover a pill that will keep you thin,  I will be long gone, and am I gonna be ticked off!!!!

for 90 minutes I have been watching 911 stories..what is wrong with me? now I have to go eat pasta....

still watching - now 150 minutes - no pasta to eat. made ham sandwich instead..thank god I have no ice cream..I would eat the half gallon

weeping weeping.....rips through my heart..but watching makes me feel that I have not forgotten, that I am respecting the suffering, the loss, that happened to so many thousands..does that make sense?

*****

I won't leave you there - 

Pictures of a puppy will help.

Howie before he became incorrigible.

and yes, one blue, one brown eye

What have you been saying?

Z

I Don't Care

I don't care what the calendar or anyone else says.

It's fall.

I need it, I want it, I NEED it.

I want to turn off the annoying air and fans.

I want to burn candles everywhere.

I want to wear my wooly socks and flannel pj's.

Constantly

Hunkering down inside my cocoon does not seem

as quirky (or psychologically damaging), in the fall

 as it does in the blaze of summer.

I want the kids home for the holidays,

and the pooches to stop panting

especially when Howie rocks the bed..

pant pant pant

"Get off!"

I want soups and stews and crusty breads

and an adjustable waistband.

I don't care, it's what I want.