Saturday, September 29, 2012

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?



What are the chances that I would burn my left forearm 
badly..(we're talking big scar ) about two weeks ago 
and then tonight badly scrape the right hand about 3" worth 
and then burn right above the scrape on the oven shelf 
about an hour later?
100%

What are the chances that I would offend at least three
customers (jackasses) at the garage sale today?
100%

What are the chances that after the garage sale, 
I would be so hot and tired that I would 
just drop my pants on the kitchen floor
 and start cleaning up in the garage
 sans pants, and then proceed to 
sit on a chair in my underwear in the garage
 and laugh with my SIL for another 90 minutes after 
we had already spent the day together?
100 %

What are the chances that I would be starving at 10pm
 and be too lazy to put my pants back on
 and drive through the Wendy's drive thru, 
and consider just throwing a towel across my lap?
100%

What are the chances I am even lazier than a person
 who would go through a drive thru with a towel as attire, 
and decide to cook a frozen pizza instead?
100 %

When removing that pizza from the oven
 what are the chances that upon burning hand on oven
 I would tilt pizza paddle and drop pizza face down on floor?
100 %

What are the chances that I would invoke the 2 second rule?
What are the chances that I would sit bare thighed
 on a wooden chair to eat fuzzy pizza 
and peel off the first layer of skin 
upon arising?
100%

What are the chances a good bud would find a darling house
 in CT for me under 200,000, 
within 4 hours of my Daughter talking about 
maybe moving to LA post graduation?
100%

What are the chances that this is my last NEVER AGAIN
garage sale? (I'm taking odds on this one :D)

What 
are 
the 
chances 
that I
have incredible
friends 
here in my life in lala land
and here
in blog land?

100%




31 comments:

♥ Sonny ♥ said...


You sure had a memory making day..
so sorry to hear you got burned the first and second time.

helen tilston said...

I am laughing and commiserating with you simultaneously. I hope your hand feels better - take care of it.

I think you were wise to not drive through Wendy's with the towel on your lap. We never know when we have to "throw in the towel"

Helenxx

Theresa said...

Ohh I hope you are going to have a better day today and that your hands will heal soon. Now that I have said that, THANK YOU for the grins about sitting around in your undies and considering going through the drive through! You are too funny, 100%!
It can only go up from here, right?
take care of yourself, t.xoxoxox

Razmataz said...

I think Z, you are just getting all the crap out of the way so you can start coasting through the next step of your life....

Di said...

Too funny, too true and what a day, oh my gosh. I've had those days myself. Glad you could laugh and share with us. Di@Cottage-wishes

Robin Larkspur said...

Sounds like a rough day and night. I recommend aloe for the burns, neosporin for the scrapes and possibly a tall glass of something to numb everything.

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

Hope the burn heals nicely. Burnt a couple of fingers cooking a while back... it's never a good thing.

Garage sales are so hard.... used to do them often but have done none in the past 6 years and no plans to ever do one again. I just got tired of dickering with people on prices.

Laura @ 52 FLEA said...

You need to be careful! And...the last thing I would ever call you is lazy! So sorry for your injuries...OUCH!

Claudia said...

Oh boy. What a day you had, my friend! I hope you're not hurting from that burn! And here's hoping that today is a much better day for you.

xo
Claudia

Linda @ A La Carte said...

This sounds like a VERY rough day to me. But hopefully the burns and scrapes will heal and you will feel much better soon. Moving sounds like a positive thing!
hugs, Linda

Kathy said...

In the words of that great philosopher, Jimmy Buffect, "if we couldn't laugh we'd all just go insane"! Trust me, I am laughing WITH you,not AT you!
So sorry to hear about the injuries and hope they heal quickly. Take good care!

Tina @ TinyBear Studio said...

Now - you take care over there Z. We can´t have you driving around town in nothing but bandage on your arms and hands.

Sorry about the burn - hope everything will be fine soon.
sending hugs
xx T

Low Tide High Style said...

Oh honey, you need a vacation!!! xo

Kat

Bead and Needle said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - I'm taking the over on the last "What Are"! You crack me up - make sure you take care of that burn.

Jillayne said...

Oh crap. Some days just go like that don't they...
I hope you get a better one today z. As for odds on the last one - it might be worth reserving the right to have a garage sale so that if you ever feel the need to tell a jackass off, you'll know where to get one!

Blondie's Journal said...

Wow! What a day! I've had my share but not to the extent of physical harm! I hope today is better! :)

XO,
Jane

Faded Charm said...

What are the odds that if i need a good laugh I know exactly where to come......100%!

You just made my day reading this Z...now go get some pants on you crazy lady:-)

xoxo
Kathleen

Jill said...

Sorry for you but thanks for a good laugh!!!

Kit said...

Yikes! The burns sound horrible. But I totally agree with the sans pants. Also add sans the bra...Lol Kit

Amber said...

Hot damn, Z! LOL! You need a drink!

Linda said...

What a day!! I burned my thumb so badly last weekkend that my dear SIL heard it sizzle from accross the room as we were preparing for my son's wedding reception...all I could do was laugh...hope today is a great day!!

Lana said...

Z...I just wish a couple of my good buddies could actually meet you (along with ME meeting you in real life...and yours is about as real as it gets!!!).. You have the best "reads" out there!! We 100% think you are terrific!! :) Hope the burns, scrapes, and bruises heal quickly. :)

Romeo said...

Geez of Pete, are you trying to set a record for injuries or what?!?! Yikes! And if that wasn't enough of an adventure, you gotta start your own fashion trend?!?! Underwear! Who would've thought?!? And let's not forget the irony of finding a purrfect house when you may no longer need one there?!?!? YOU are 100% of what life is all about. Now stay away from the stove okay?

Hugs,

"her" and Romeo

www.MaisonStGermain.com said...

WOW Girl! Wow! What are the chances of me being so totally excited about the possibility of you moving to CT? 100% !!!!! Take care and for God's sake woman get some pants on!
~Debra xxx
Capers of the vintage vixens

miss flibbertigibbet said...

Oh for goodness sake! Well the chances are 100% that you made me laugh and be glad at the same time that it wasn't all happening to me in one day!!! LOL

Sandi~A Cottage Muse said...

How much do I love visiting you ~ one thousand percent!!!

Cindy said...

I really do not need to be drinking coffee when I read your blog. My computer is now spewed with coffee. Sans pants in the garage?? fuzzy pizza?? TOO FUNNY!
Sorry about your arms! OUCH!
and I am with you on garage sales..I hate having them, but really need to have one...

Being a great friend with the best blog?? 100%!
xo

June said...

I'm a 100% amused at the fact that you would even thinking of going to a drive through without your pants Z!!!!
much love...

wendy said...

This was 100% entertaining.
I got without pants a lot...I live in the country with no one around. I can TOTALLY get away with it, and I love it. (tee,hee)

Georgia Gibbons said...

You are amazing that you would tell us all of these things and still be able to laugh about it. God bless ya, girl. xxxxxx

Nella said...

Dearest Suzan, Did you ever consider doing stand up comedy!! I am killing myself here, and feeling so badly for you all at the same time...please be careful, my sweet friend! Yep, garage sales can kill you, the haggling over .10 cents isn't worth the effort ! I love the burlap wreaths...perfect to dress up or leave on their own, just like you have...sending you warm hugs and wishes for a beautiful fall! N.xo