Friday, September 21, 2018

A Miserable Failure

You would think that 
fitting a cpap to a face 
would not be very difficult,
as it's done many many times a day.

Leave it to this ole broad to have issues.
After three different types all failing to "seal" 
properly we settled on a full face model
 that was so tight to my face that 3 hours
 after removal I was still showing
 the divots in my face.

To sum up quickly:
I failed miserably.

I made it till the last hour required
after multiple times being
awakened by staff to change masks,
adjust monitors etc. 
Still only slept a total of 2 1/2 hours.

Around 4 am I started to cough,
 and then more severely
until I could not catch my breath. 
Suddenly realized I could not
sit up enough to clear my throat
and I could not remove the mask
and I 
could 
NOT breathe.

Frantically clawing at the damn thing,
the tech ran in from down
the hall and yanked it off me and we both 
were holding onto each other 
saying damn that was bad.

Both techs were wonderful and kind
this time but it was still a total failure.

Will see if the Dr reviewing record will say
he has enough to order machine
but I'm not sure I can stand to sleep 
with the dang thing.
So I signed the paper saying I quit the test.

I'm discouraged and defeated.
I'm going on hiatus from everything for a bit.


At least fall is here


6 comments:

donna baker said...

Oh Suzan. It is never easy for some of us. I sure hope they can come up with something new. I don't blame you for not wanting to go through all that again. I haven't done it at all since I can't sleep and really wouldn't be able to in a hospital setting. Boy, I hate that you had to go through it again and it didn't work. Geez. Take care.

Terra said...

I have relatives who use CPAP and it treats their sleep apnea successfully so I hope you will find a machine that works for you. They have small CPAP masks now, and ways to cushion the masks. That is so disappointing for you and you tried your best. Don't give up, just take your needed break!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Damn! How scary. I'm here if you need to vent. Hugs!

Kit said...

Yikes! That sure sounds like an ordeal. I hope something can be figured out for you soon. 💕 Kit

Blondie's Journal said...

YOU did not fail. The very few available masks failed. I have gone to the ends of the earth for some of my medical issues, as well as the repercussions from my husbands cancer treatment. There are medical people who search for answers...source them and keep going until you exhaust all your efforts. Of course its easier said than done---especially when you already feel like crap. But please find comfort that this is just the beginning of your journey.

Sending love and a special hug,

Jane

Karen Ann said...

Ugh - so sorry you've had such a miserable experience! Yes.. fall is here - and let's raise a glass to respite and rejuvenation - and especially HEALING - xo