Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Darling Daughter coming home 
tomorrow. I must go to Costco to buy
her favorite muffins.
The chocolate, poppy seed, blueberry combo.

She nibbles on them for hours leaving
 a trail of crumbs as she goes.
The house will be filled with her laugh.
Loud and contagious, she never holds back
 and lets it rip at the oddest things..at least to me
they seem odd and vice versa I suppose.

The only thing that would make it perfect
 is if my Dearest Son was coming home with her.
Mama loves to have both her chicklets home.  

I left home at 22 and never lived even
 remotely near my family again, 
except for two very brief times that 
 I managed to move back there, only to get 
yanked back west once more.
It was not to be.
Not by choice, I longed to move back 
my entire adult life, as every
 Sunday my Dad would ask, 
"When are you coming home?"

How I wish Skype and free long distance
 existed back then. How I wish I had been able to visit home more often. How hard this was for my folks, and I do not believe I fully comprehended until these past 2 years with both my kids so very far away.
Holidays of all sorts spent without my family
back then, and now history is repeating itself.

I am thrilled they are living full, exciting lives;
that they are responsible, self supporting adults 
of good character and kindness,
 but oh, how I miss them.

I will selfishly hoard all the memories of this summer,
as next summer DD begins living full time 
in New York in her new apartment. 
I am beyond grateful that both my kids 
live in the same city and see each other frequently, 
and adore each other.
These are the final months of a child living at home. 
From now on it is only visits.

Every Sunday I will be asking
"When are you coming home?"



June said...

Beautiful, beautiful post Z. Isn't it strange how we try our hardest to make responsible people out of them when they are young and then wish that they could be a little more needy once they grow up and no longer can be? That is the work of mothers! To raise good, strong children and citizens of the world.
Your DD and son have so much to be thankful for in having a mom like you.
sending love...

Bead and Needle said...

Bittersweet Tuesday...have a wonderful day, Z! Lovely post - Tanya

Terra said...

I understand how sweet it is to have your daughter home for a while, and how you would like both chicklits home. Like you, I moved far from home as a young adult, met my dh and we raised our children far from where we grew up. Kind of sad, but we love where we live. We are happy because our adult children live near us :)

Razmataz said...

Yay!!!!!!!!I am so excited for you Z.

Theresa said...

Oh Z~ Relish the summer, I know I will. It is one of the hardest parts of being a mom. I have had to tell myself all week, 'this is what I want for them, this is what I want for them' over and over it has become my mantra.
Enjoy her laughter (maybe even tape it when she doesn't know) ohhh kinda spy like :) then you can replay it anytime you need to hear it!
I loved your post, you know it hit home over here.
t. xoxoxoox

Blondie's Journal said...

I have a little lump in my throat. I am not up for an empty nest. I love noise, I thrive on chaos. My kids will never move far away, but even if they are gone for a few hours, I get a little mopey. Someone needs to cut my apron strings.

Your daughter is beautiful. You are going to have the best summer!


A Cottage Muse said...

As my daughter will be graduating on the 22nd I feel the nest may soon be starting to empty out. My son is still a junior in HS so I do have a few more years I guess. I always spent so much time with my parents because I enjoyed their company. I hope my kids will feel the same way!

Laura said...

I know exactly how you feel.
Some days I am OK with it all- and some days I'm not.

White Spray Paint

beth said...

i moved away from home at 18 and never went back. we are now the closet we've ever been....just an hour away.

lucky for me, my kids are only 10 minutes away...but when the day comes that we are hours away....oh bless your heart. i can only imagine how it feels.....how it will feel to me.....not a great feeling no matter how proud of them we are.

Mullin Avenue Workshop said...

This is a beautiful tribute to mother's love, as well as the poignancy of the adult child. So many times in the past 10 years since my son first left home, I've thought of my mom, and realized, "Hmm, so this was how you felt", and wished I could have known then, what I've learned now.

Treasure your time this summer with your daughter, (as of course you will), and there will still be wonderful, happy times to come.

Wishing you a happy day tomorrow!

Claudia said...

Oh, Z, it must be so hard to be apart from your kids. I'm glad your daughter is coming home. Have a great visit.


Romeo said...

This post leaves me with a feeling that my heart is suddenly heavy....I suppose that's what is known as "tugging on heartstrings". I am so happy that DD will be home for a time this summer.....enjoy each other....make each day special, for these are the memories that will carry you through the long distance days of the future.....love and laughter....oh the bright days you will be having!!!! Hooray!

"Her" and Romeo

Olive Cooper said...

Oh enjoy her! I brought mine home today and she will be here all summer. I left home at age 18 an had no desire to ever return but that is a whole other story.

erin said...

this reminds me of a beautiful song by Kathy Mattea called "where have you been?". your way with words is so touching and your motherly love is pure. enjoy the fleeting time with your daughter.


Low Tide High Style said...

Oh how this post tugs at my heartstrings. My daughter only lives a few hours away, but even at that I don't get to see her as much as I would like. She has also applied for a job overseas, so the distance may soon be much greater. Hopefully our son will want to live much closer to home! Enjoy the time with your daughter!

Kat :)

Cindy said...

Very sweet post. I am going home to see my parents in NC in a couple of weeks. I too, moved away at 23 and never lived close to my parents. I am so looking forward to visiting them.
Your daughter is BEAUTIFUL! and I hope you have a great time with her..

Jill said...

This makes me sad for you. They are so blessed to have you supporting them as they find their own way. I'll pray for comfort for you.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE poppyseed muffins even though those tiny seeds get stuck between my teeth... LOL


Cozy Little House said...

Yes, this is beautiful and poignant and so very earthy. As in earth mother, I suppose! I think only a mother can look at it quite this way and with this detail from her heart. It is great they will see one another often though. That should help your mind rest easier knowing they will be close to one another physically as well as emotionally. Well said!

Anonymous said...

Oh, z. You are yanking at my heart strings.

When they live so far away, as my three do, it is hard on a mama. My only hope is that one day they will think about moving closer to home.

Enjoy the time with your daughter. It is precious.

~ Zuzu

My Grama's Soul said...

Oh Suzan....you certainly have reason to be proud of your children. You have done A WONDERFUL JOB raising them.



Pooch Purple Reign said...

AWW so cute. im the one that moved away from home :( well, they were already away but not this far. lucky me tho, last week my oldest daughter came to visit...AND i was home for a month.
quality, not quantity these days it seems. enjoy every moment !! i know you will
~laura xx

Mike and Caroline said...

That is so so beautifully expressed. I have a tear in my eye reading it... Thankyou, for writing such a heart wrenching post that us mothers understand! xx

The Boston Lady said...

Suzan, what heartfelt words you have written. This is my DD last year in our town as she will graduate and move out west to make her way and be near her brother. We are solving that distance problem, but pulling up stakes and heading west ourselves to start a new life, a new adventure after 30 years in the same place. Gulp! You have raised two wonderful beings who love you and in who you have instilled love for each other. I remember once reading a quote from Jackie Onassis saying her greatest accomplishment was raising two children who liked and loved each other. It was always my goal to accomplish that as well and I feel I have - and so have you. Ann

Susanne said...

My little girl came home the other day too and will stay for only a week and a half this summer. Baby boy's college graduation last Friday and will be off, further away, for more school, all too soon. Trying to get a family photo between 2 kids with their need to be somewhere elses and a husband and our photographer friend both out of town on business, argh! But that's always been my job, to make my job obsolete. Sigh.

Char said...

i remember my momma and daddy saying it too. i wished i had done it more.

Rebecca said...

No I haven't dropped off the planet but I am in the middle of a tornado with a million things to do yet! Donna is on her way to help with a few things and then we are off to Nada Farm event. As soon as that is over I will be leaving for WA, can't wait to visit with my oldest! Virginia went great and I had great fun... I plan on doing it again.
Have fun with your daughter, she is a cutie!