Keep Your Damn Parade Macy's

At times I am terrible at picking up my mail,

especially when it's 112 outside 

 and when I finally do

(at 1 am in my pj's last night)

I remember why.

(stay with me to the end folks)

Because it often ticks me off.

I received a bill yesterday from Macy's for $2

Three months ago I ordered some 

products on line and had a balance of 

95.00 and change. I paid the bill in full, and mailed it 

10 days in advance of the due date.

I received the next month's bill with a 

29.00 late fee (32%) plus a 2.00 balance fee.

I called and never even made it to a living being, 

just an automated voice saying 
"if you are calling about your late fee we will gladly
 remove it from your bill". 
I punched 0 several times until I got a human and 

voiced my displeasure at the policy 
and that I appreciated the removal. 
I was informed I needed to leave 10-14 days
 for processing and that it had been
 "processed 1 day after the due date". 
I said my job was to get it

there on time, it was their job to process

it on time... and I may have commented 
on the lovely way for Macy's to add to their coffers.

Last month I receive a bill for 4.00.

$2 for minimum balance charge of the month before

and another $2 for the current month.

I paid it just to make it go away.

WHY? WHY?

 I know better - I was just not up for an argument,

or I got lazy, or stupid.

Yesterday's bill was another $2 charge 

attached to a bill I paid in full 3 months ago.

NOW I WAS up for an argument.

I got a human,

after an automated voice said

"If you are calling about the $2 charge,

 we will gladly remove it.

I punched 000000000000 

HA!

Obviously so many folks call about these charges,

that they automate their answer.

The human I spoke with 

read off Macy's apology from a card.

I know this because she repeated the exact words

 verbatim 3 times at least.

She finished with "because you have a 0 balance there 

is nothing I can remove for you today."

If only half of their customers have 

noticed this sneaky little deal,

 and only half complain, that still leaves

a big bunch of $2 charges being tacked on willy nilly 

each month, especially after claiming we all need to mail

14 days in advance as if the USPS wasn't doing their job.

Pretty clever huh?

We need to pay close attention my friends:

I don't trust the fat dude behind the curtain.

If I hear one more person say

"I don't care about politics"

"I don't "do" politics"

"It's all so corrupt I wash my hands of it all"

I just may scream

No, I know what I'll do instead.

I'll have an automated voice at the ready

"we are sorry for the inconvenience" - 

"We will gladly 

remove all your civil rights, 

 remove your reproductive rights,

remove all attempts to save the planet, 

remove quality education

remove aid to the ill and the poor,

remove health care

remove people due to race and ethnicity

remove the fish from the oceans, the trees

from the forests, the oxygen from the FRICKIN' AIR

YOU BREATHE!"

deep breath...

Not one of us can afford to be lazy or stupid right now.

Once you have a 0 balance, there 

is nothing more for them to remove.

Pretty floats and balloons cannot

disguise the seriousness of our times.

Keep your damn parade Macy's

I'm marching for a better cause.

wikipedia

Z