Sunday, December 19, 2010

Darling Daughter

Please bear with me, it's a day for memories.

Twenty years ago today Darling Daughter was born.
It was a very stressful day because 
of tragic events that occurred 
to my OB just days before my scheduled C-section.
(My body refuses to go into labor even after 8 hours
 of Pitocin- we learned the hard way with dearest son)

My OB's infant daughter had just died 
from SIDs and I had been referred to 
another OB who made our lives hell for three 
days because he insisted on amnio 2 days before my due date,
and poked me three times without getting fluid and then said
 "let's wait for nature".
Nature made my first birth a 10 lb 3 oz birth!

I called the office sobbing, and my 
OB was there in the office and he said 
come on in, let's see what we can do.
Putting aside his unbearable grief, he scheduled me
 for the next morning and Darling Daughter 
arrived by C-section. 
Because of his grief he asked me if 
another doctor could "close me up"
 so that he could get right home.
 "Of course" I said! He gave me a kiss and off he went.
Bless you David wherever you are now...

The new Doctor who must have been trained under the Amnio idiot, ignored the warning painted 
on my stomach to use paper tape ONLY and proceeded to use adhesive tape. 24 hours later I have a raging infection at the site and the same Doc is insisting I take a percosett for pain. I give him the long story of sensitivity blah blah blah and not taking anything because I'm nursing. Yep, you heard right..I take only Tylenol after c - sections..OUCH! 
We battle for hours, he assures me it does not travel through breast milk, and I succumb to a pill.

Within 1 hour of nursing DD has a mild seizure which nurse assures me is normal in some newborns? 
Another pill is given, more nursing and the next hour DD suffers 2 grand mals which we witness and 2 more after they returned her to the nursery to be checked.

To not bore you to drink with the long details, 
DD ended up in neonatal, first row.
I have never been so terrified in my life.
I couldn't nurse her, she was put through a battery of tests
all day for 2 days and they knew nothing. 
I could not sleep ( maybe THAT is where it started?),
I could not eat, and they could tell us nothing.

Through it all I kept asking on a continuous loop, 
"could it have been the percosett?"
"No"  "Doubtful"  "Of course not" 
I'm checking merck manuals which disagree, 
and calling every person I know who has 
nurse's skills or who is married to a DR!
5 days later after no nursing, no more seizures 
and no bad results in testing they were stumped.

DD had been moved to the back of the room, the row where
babies go home. It was Christmas Eve day, and I had been 
harassing every neonatologist ( she had 5) for answers.
All I could get was "inconclusive". 
Finally we were told we could bring her home that night.
I grabbed the Doctor signing her out and begging I said
" Look, I need to know...Am I taking home a healthy child or do I need to sleep with my hand on her back in the bassinet checking for her breathing for the next 6 months?

 He started to shrug me off, and I grabbed his arm and made him face me, made him see me, and said, "if it was the percosett, if that Dr was wrong, if it traveled to her tiny ultra sensitive system and just like her Mama, she reacts very negatively to pain killers; if that is what it was, and there is no looming danger to this wee being who is my life...
I need to know.."

He looked me straight in the eye, and very quietly said.
"You are taking home a healthy child" and walked away. 

20 years ago on Christmas Eve, Darling Daughter came home,
and has offered us nothing but joy every day since.

Happy Birthday my Darling Daughter

we will now return to our regular programming. 

26 comments:

Shabby Vintage Junk said...

THANK HEAVENS for small mercies....Your Daughter is BEAUTIFUL....I hope she has a LOVELY birthday....!

Merry Christmas Lovey,
Tamarah :o)

katie said...

She is beautiful and praise God she is healthy.
Enjoy your Christmas.

Beatnheart said...

Your daughter is beautiful and well worth all the pain you went through. What a blessing she is for you.

Bead and Needle said...

What a BEAUTIFUL photo of your BEAUTIFUL Hannah! What a horrifying set of events, Z - WOW! Happy Birthday, Hannah and her proud Mom!

Charlene said...

A MOTHER KNOWS! That silly doctor! Glad all turned out well & she is beautiful just like her Momma! Merry Christmas! Charlene

Jane said...

What an experience! I'm sure every birthday brings back those memories and happily the story ends with a beautiful, healthy girl. Happy 20th Birthday to your beautiful daughter. And happy birth day to her mother!
Jane

Theresa said...

She is beautiful! A mother always knows best, I swear we are just blessed with those instincts after we have our little ones. Have a wonderful visit full of love, laughter and warm memories...Theresa xoxo

Claudia said...

What a story - my goodness, how frightening that must have been for you. She is a beautiful girl and you must be very proud.

xo
Claudia

Theanne... said...

Happy Birthday to your daughter...the photo is lovely! Understand totally your story about doctors...thank heavens you had a happy, happy ending!

Carole said...

Oh Z you poor thing!!! the outcome she wasa good though.....beautiful girl!
Happy Birthday to your sweet Hannah!

xx
Thanks for the heads up on the win!
whoo hhooo!

time worn interiors said...

Wow, what an experience! It' really hard for me to trust Doctors! I'm sure there are some really good one's, but like you I always seem to get the dangerous (careless) one's! Sure I've opened up a can of worms with that one! Anyway! Happy Birthday to your sweet girl! She is lovely!
Theresa
aka:tot

gail said...

your daughter is beautiful...happy birthday to her!
I had a bad experience with my middle daughter involving doctors, and suffice it to say my instincts were right but I was treated like an idiot. very frustrating!
gail

Razmataz said...

My God! When I worked for this surgeon I used to hear him tell his students about a famous doctor (can't remember who) who used to say to his students "listen to your patients as they TELL you what is wrong.

How true in this case, As a mom you knew. Thank goodness she was fine. What stress for a new mom.

Jacqueline said...

You are blessed Suzan, she's lovely.

The French Bear said...

Wow, so glad that you all came home safe and sound. It is unbelievable what some medical people think they know....scary!
Look at her now, what a gorgeous girl!!!
Happy Birthday to your sweet daughter!
Hugs,
Margaret B

Boxwood Cottage said...

Sounds dramatic Suzan, although I did't understand it all. I dunno what an OB is but I figured it could be a doctor, but a percosett? My dictionary doesn't know either, oh well.

To behonest I do not understand that almost all US women get their babies by C-section whereas in Europe almost all women get their babies by natural birth and noone ever explained me why this is.

I got my daughter by natural birth. all I got was an oxygen mask and a bit of water from time to time and well yes it hurted, but other than that it was fine, we both were fine. It was an incredible experience one I would not want to have missed out on in my life. I could nurse her right away without any fear. I did so for 18 months lol

I'm glad all went well for you and dd at the end and she turned out such a beautiful woman!

Sending very happy birthday wishes her way! Is she already home?

Only 4 days left here until my dd will come back home from NYS! Can't wait! Her birthday is January 9th not so far away anymore and it will be her 23rd already!

Hugs to you! Enjoy your kids being home!

xoxo~ Carola

A Cottage Muse said...

Thank you for sharing ~ what a little fighter!

Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter!!

Nice and Easy Antiques said...

I bet she is worth every second of that nightmare, isn't she? Beautiful girl!

erin said...

what a rough and scary start!! and look how well she turned out!! stunning. you should be so proud.

happy birthday!

my daughter and i are both extremely sensitive...so much so that the doctors and nurses often don't believe our side effects to certain drugs. sometimes i think we know more than the doctors....i always start with just a half of a pill of any kind.

wait til you see my christmas "joy" tree....

north pal said...

how absolutely hard for you, but look how lovely she is. that is something you ever forget.Bestest,Denise

Brenda Kula said...

First, she is beautiful. She looks so much like her mother. And secondly, I am sorry for what you went through. How frightening! My husband is a doctor. Some of them have bedside manners and little skills. Some have lots of skills but no bedside manner. I've met all kinds. I can't take Percocet either.
Brenda

Jillayne said...

Thank heavens for happy endings! She is a beauty, your Darling Daughter. What a hard way to learn to question Doctors and those that are supposed to know things and thankfully one of them had the gumption to tell you what was what.
We took Laura in to Emergency when she was five months old with a horrendous fever, 104 it was. The Doctor told us anything we did would only make us feel better and that we should let the fever run it's course. He said they don't even start treating them for fever in the hospital unless it's 101. The nurse pointed out to him that she had it on the chart as 104 and pushed the chart at him. He looked at it, shrugged and said give her tylenol and left the room. Thank goodness for that nurse because she stayed and told us exactly what to do.
Have a lovely visit z and Happy Holidays to you and yours!

The Boston Lady said...

Sometimes those in the healthcare world forget the humans behind the illness or conditions. I don't know if they are protecting themselves from draining hurt, or if it just becomes so routine that their hearts harden. Bless your grieving doctor for helping you out during such a stressful time and bless you for fighting for what was best for your Darling Daughter. So glad those first few days of fear, pain and agony have turned into years of beauty, love and accomplishment. Ann

Annie Louise said...

Oh my goodness, how troublesome. Your daughter is now beautiful, and has an important story to tell--thank goodness.
Blessings to you all,
Jeanette

Ellen aka Ella said...

Happy to hear your beautiful darling daughter is fine and you listen to your intuition, Mom!

I lost my 1st child and know what it feels like the 2nd time around. You are a nervous wreck!

YOU are blessed~xXx
Sorry for what you endured~

Relyn said...

A happy late birthday to your daughter. She is lovely.