Who Needs a Scary Movie?

Want to be scared ****less?

Agree to a sleep study

I cannot begin to describe how awful this 

experience was Monday night.

Google "wired up for a sleep study" and 

find the worst photo and then multiply by two.

Suffering from insomnia for months

 I was worried I would not sleep,

but luckily after 2 hours lying there, I slept for an hour 

and then woke up coughing and choking

on huge amount of mucous in my throat. I was trying

 to clear my throat and sitting up wondering

if I should call to see if they could remove temporarily

the three (yep three!) cannulas in my nose

 and the tube into my mouth so I could blow and spit..

(Sorry folks this is what was happening.)

The tech "Manny" burst in and

 began to scold me for 20 minutes for 

"waking myself up" and becoming anxious.

"I'm monitoring your O/2 -I won't let you die;

 if you stop breathing EMT is right next door.

OK seriously?

"It just feels like your choking

but you can still breathe,

so GO TO SLEEP! NOW!"

Scolding had morphed into near yelling.

I could spend an hour telling you the rest of it

but I'll just tell you the conclusion.

I did manage to sleep another 3 hours -

after weeping a little while, I admit,

though I never touched my eyes so 

tech could not see in night vision.

 I would not give the SOB

the satisfaction.

Tech was NOT happy with my measly 4 hours.

He's supposed to record 7 1/2.

He burst into room at 6 when I opened my eyes

and sat me right up too fast to begin removing 

a kajillion wires from EVERYWHERE 

and my vertigo kicked in big time.

 He told me I may have to repeat.

I looked him right in the eye and

said "fat chance."

All the other patients were unhooked and leaving,

and though he said take your time,

it was clear he wanted me to leave

 as he carried my purse and bag to the front door.

I would have easily failed a field sobriety test.

I was nauseated, vision blurry, and dizzy. 

Yet get into my car I did.

Drank about 16 oz of cold water

that he had kept out of my reach that night,

and proceeded to drive very carefully

 the 3 miles back home.

It was a surface street with little traffic

 or I would not have attempted.

I swayed through my garage

into the kitchen and promptly 

vomited in the sink. 

Oh there is so much more,

but that's enough scary stuff.

BTW the goo glued into your hair 

in seven places takes four complete shampoos

 to remove, or maybe just me?

I wish you could see me shaking my head,

this is all so nuts.

My brother's line of 

"50% of all Drs graduate in the bottom half

of their class, is on a loop in my brain."

and my last note "go to hell Manny"

I actually said the other thing. 

Z