Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Whack It Off!

I may do
the no-no thing again here
and not include any photos,
we'll see how it goes at the end...

Today

On a whim
Or a bee in my bonnet
Or a bug up my butt

I walked by a low cost hair salon
in the miserable 108 degree heat and
yanked open the door and said
quietly to the girl who sweetly said
"Can I help You?"...
I said 
"Whack it off"
She did

This attitude is a repeat of one last week
where I was standing next to my client's beautiful pool,
on the final day of the move and while
my ex SIL was talking to me..
I jumped into the pool fully clothed..
Fully clothed in long jeans mind you
and happily swam around the next half hour
with my SIL in stitches snapping pics.
I drove home sopping wet sitting on a towel
I grabbed from the charity pile.

so has the old mare finally lost it?
worked herself into a whack a doodle state of mine?

follow this story..

The client, the one I've nearly lived with
 the last three months,
had a major set back
2 weeks ago.
Her husband with Alzheimers, 
managed to find the hidden car keys, 
took the car so fast
 she never heard him and took off. 
He has no license
He has not driven in a couple years,
and not at night for many more years
 He would quickly be lost and confused
  He disappeared at 8 p.m. on a Tuesday

He was missing for 18 agonizing hours.
My friend lived through this horrible night
in absolute terror.
He was found in southern CA! 5 hours away
 the next afternoon,
on the side of the highway after running out of gas.
Now I could rant about the fact that the HP did 
not put out an alert for many many hours
(shame on those rules with AZ patients)
BUT they did finally do an APB
 which is how he was found.
We'll never know where or how he did
it as he cannot tell us.

He was dehydrated and incoherent 
so they took him by ambulance
 to a hospital near Temecula,
where they proceeded
to nearly kill him by
misdiagnosis, ignorance and a DR 
who was an ASS!
My friend and two of his kids rushed to his side
and went through a week of hell.

Finally this past weekend
after much legal wrangling,
 they had to rent a LEAR
jet $$$$$$ to get him to MN 
to a good hospital and good care.

Meanwhile I was left to finish the move
 and deal with all the remaining details.
My SIL was engaged to aid the process
as it was now impossible to complete alone 
without the homeowner. 
Things went pretty well for us here while things
were insane for my client and her husband.
The words NIGHTMARE and DISASTROUS
apply.

Imagine dealing with such a medical crisis while
folks were packing up your whole house and moving you
at the same time..and now folks are on the receiving end
 unpacking her as she hospital sits in MN with him.
God Bless Them All

Which brings me to whack it off

I am a mite distressed by the world at the moment.
Sunday was my B-day and although I received
some lunch invites etc, I chose to hole up 
in my pj's and just veg, listening to music, and reading.
The plane disappearance, plane shot down, conflicts and wars
killing of innocent civilians, kidnapping, burning of children,
political idiocy, and looming environmental 
issues have me feeling so upset that I am 
frozen in time and space.
I have worked non stop for months to ease
the burden of a family only for that
family to be put through another kind of turmoil
that has not lessened, and there is nothing
 now that I can do to help.

I feel lost without purpose or joy

The kids are coming in August
for belated B-day
and I will be happy again 
but for now

I want to whack it off
All the pain and sadness and fear
that humans are causing.

I will jump in pools
 and sit on the bottom 
like I did as a child
no harsh sounds, 
enveloped in a water womb
making it all go away 
if only for a moment...

When I resurface
I am angry
 sad
 bitter
and frustrated

I am searching to 

WHACK It Off!

We are so much better than this
start fresh
start again
find the hope

I haven't even looked in the mirror to see 
the new "Whack Job"
not sure I care either way

No pics and not funny
but an honest tale from
old grey

Z









25 comments:

♥ Sonny ♥ said...



Z, I hear you and I understand.. its all just too damn much negative~!
Since I was a teen I have asked what could be accomplished if all the neg. were positive actions instead.
I like hearing your thoughts and feelings- no pics required now or ever.
offering you a hug, wish I could do more.
Sonny

Linda said...

I can totally relate...I was just texting back and forth with my younger son who is quite distraught by all the happenings in the world...I told him to hold onto to the good...read a happy book, listen to music, garden...try to find joy in the moment. I am an eternal optimist...but I truly feel for all you and your client family have been through...as well as the rest of the world these days...so glad you feel comfortable enough opening yourself up to us! Take care!!

Kathy said...

Oh dear, Z, I am so sorry the world is closing in on you right now. It sounds like you need a much-deserved rest and maybe you can get out of Dodge and go spend some time with that sweet girl of yours! Hang in there, there is still good in the world and there are still good people in the world.
I be your hair looks adorable!

Blondie's Journal said...

Suzan...you expressed my feelings so well in your last few paragraphs. You may or not be aware of the increasing gun violence in Chicago. We're all feel helpless in our own private war. And then everything else. The news I wake up to every morning is desperate and devastating. But never surprising. Enough.

Your story of your clients breaks my heart. I have nothing else to add, my dear. Whack it off...or not. Put it in a pretty and cool knot on your head and leave it til you feel like washing it. My hair grows and grows, sometimes because it's the last of my worries.

Love and good karma,
Jane xx

Helen said...

You are not alone ... twice in my life I have done what you did ~ walked into a salon and said ?!'whack it off!' And I did it on my lunch hours at work! The good news is it always grows back and you have done a brave, empowering thing. The world needs more of that!
Helen in Bend Oregon

joanne said...

you have spoken straight from my heart. It is so heavy with the burdens of the world and I am crushed at the sadness it brings. I hope your 'whack' was good for your soul. love you sweet thing..;j

mray said...

My heart can not take anymore pain for our world of injustices, feeling outrage for every parent and family that has recently lost people they loved. There seems to be no security, just craziness and sick people with a twisted agenda....I would like to slip back into 1950...You are not alone. Thank you for sharing.

Lin from A {tiny} Cottage In The Woods said...

I whacked the TV over 11 years ago, because of all the pain and sadness and fear that humans cause. Perhaps that is ostrich-head-in-the-sand avoidance, but I have trouble functioning when "the news" gives us the play-by-play images & negativity. I can quickly scan the internet to know what's going on.

So sorry for your friend's suffering with so many worries. Sending hugs and light her way... and to you too, Z.

xoxo,
Lin

smartcat said...

Much the same thing happened to a neighbor's father. This was many years ago in Maine. We have Amber Alerts, surely we could have something similar for those who no longer have their faculties!
What has helped me is to listen to two hours only of National Public Radio and/or BBC America. No TV; no images. They get into your brain and remain there.
Sometimes 'Whack It Off" is the answer to getting a different outlook, and a lot less destructive than many other possibilities!
Hang in there.

Lizzie said...

I feel for you and want you to know that even though we haven't meet I have been where you are. ANd the good news is I survived. I don't let myself get that far into depression any more. My counselor helped me and said to use a phrase for a mantra. I picked "let it go". I had those words taped on my fridge, on my mirror, etc. I can't fix the world. I can choose to only do the best I can with what I have. It has helped me so very much. I hope you can fiind a way to make yourself feel better. I enjoy reading your blog and am saddened by your pain. A counselor might help. breathe and try to find the good in everything, if not then try humor. humor helps a lot!

Liz

c. Joy said...

I'm right there with you - I sit here with two completely different posts wondering which one to push the button on. One is the progress of my kitchen redo and the other is the fact that I am rethinking the name of my blog. Life is not always "Joy & Comfort" and I really hate that. The goings on of the last few weeks are really hard to accept. How can humans do this to other humans? and how in the name of any god or religion can anyone kill anyone? and where's the UN? and...

c. Joy said...

ON the other hand: Happy (belated) Birthday! It's not much but I want you to know your blog posts are a happy part in my day - even if you're not always happy - I like knowing that there are good people in this world.

Constance Ruppender said...

Mama said there'd be days/weeks/months like this. Whacking it off? I've got a hunch about that ... knowing you, it will come back around as something good. Hang tough, old grey. There's still much to do ...

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Oh Z, this is exactly how I feel lately. So tired from the work of moving my Mom and it's still not done...I mean she is here but so much to still unpack and organize. My home is a disaster and I feel like I want to just run away! So I'm going to visit my oldest for a little while and veg! Hoping you get some respite soon!

hugs, Linda

The Boston Lady said...

Z, what a horrible time for that family. That lady must be made of iron to have withstood the stress. I hope the road will get smoother for them soon.

The world is not in a good place right now. Everyday seems to bring a fresh amount of horror and it's easy to lose hope for humankind.

Vegging and reading sound like they are good for the soul. Happy belated birthday and let's hope we can all get our act together on this planet.

Ann

Nella Miller said...

Suz, I had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes reading this.....sending you the tightest, warmest hug...N.xo

molly- See you downtown said...

WE do what we can and it never seems enough to combat the outside world. You made a real difference to one family, and others reading your words. The world makes no sense these days and I feel overwhelmed by the bad. Hoping the days until the kids arrive go by quickly for you.

time worn interiors said...

Oh Z! Please don't whack anything else off, I get in those moods sometimes. Although these days I'm much happier.

I try to avoid the news just because it gets me down. I'm not sure where this world is headed, but it seems like all doom and gloom.

I try so hard to love all I come in contact with, but sometimes that is hard to do. Maybe I need to pray for more tolerance and forgiving.

Sorry, I missed your Birthday. Happy Belated Birthday! I'm glad the kiddos are coming in Aug., I know how you enjoy their visits.

I know all to well about the disappearing AZ patients. My grandfather pulled that stunt on us 2 different time. The last time they put out a senior citizens amber alert and thats how we found him. I feel so sorry for older folks, they can't understand why life doesn't go on as it always has. They mostly live in the past. I loved my grandfather and miss him dearly.

I hope you feel better soon. I miss our talks together. Let it be known, that you gave me the courage to make some difficult decisions and I'm thankful for all the advise.

Love ya girlie!
tot

www.MaisonStGermain.com said...

Sorry:( This is the world we live in. Although we can't control everything we can pray and be grateful for all of the great people and all that we have worked for and have been given. Although there are ugly things going on, we still are truly blessed.
~Debra xxx
P.s. I would so have jumped in that pool too:)Take care:)

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

Wow! Can't believe the Alzheimer's sufferer accomplished this getaway. I lost my mom recently (she suffered Alzheimer's for the past 8 yrs.) and it does seem the world is in chaos all around us. Innocent children and women being placed in school and hospitals when they have been warned just to get media attention. It is just cowardly and evil. What is this world coming to is a common refrain I hear lately. I just sit on my sofa and crochet. Amazing how busy hands help quiet the mind- so I will stay at it. Just ordered a book on English paper piecing so I can sit and hand piece hexagons for a Grandmother's Flower Garden table runner I have pictured in my mind. I understand now why women throughout the ages have turned to crafts and handwork of all sorts to keep their hands busy and minds occupied from the losses in their lives and the craziness in the world.
V

erin's art and gardens said...

Just seeing your post now...I am not sure why I am not receiving your posts through e-mail any more? I have been wondering how you have been...I too feel like whacking it off, or as my friend likes to put it I have been feeling "stabby"....a friend of ours was murdered by his own son...which I can not wrap my brain around yet...the entire family is a total mess as you can imagine...things just seem surreal to me now, but I keep moving forward...towards what , I am not sure.....but forward....I think I will jump into a pool tomorrow.
Hugs,
Erin

Curtains in My Tree said...

The story about the Alzheimer guy sounds all to familiar I went through hell with my husband for 3 years, took his car keys away and sold his car to keep him off the street ,he called the sheriff on me for selling his car, LOL

Amber said...

Oh, sweet friend. You need a YOU day, out of the house, to get your mind off your client and the world. Too bad we can't turn it off sometimes, huh? I think your mind will ease a bit once you've done your work there. Hang on girl. Brighter and lighter days ahead. xo

Jillayne said...

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but... all you've said and more. It is discouraging, so often. My only consolation is how bright and caring and just plain brilliant our kids are - they are truly the hope of the future. i so love this planet of ours and the older I get, the more resentful I am of the people who screwing it up.
It's hotter than hot here too, with humidity and hot flashes now - oh yay... I looked in the mirror a while back, gathered all my hair together at the bottom and cut off about four inches - asked my husband later if it looked sort of even. He thought I was nuts but I loved it. Whacked!

Kit said...

Thinking about you. Alot. Later when you are able, I want to see your hair. :/ Kit