California and Contemplations

 

Walter and I headed for CA around 8:30

on a Wednesday morning. I was already tired before 

I got in the car after packing for several days.

I had to get the many table floral arrangements for the wedding in the car: 

yes, it's been rescheduled for the fourth time.

 Remember these from Feb 2020?

I knew there would not be room

in the car come Sept with four adults, Walter and all the crap

 we would be taking down.

Just like this trip I have to pack many medical supplies, 

medicines and backup meds, a concentrator, 

portable tanks, nebulizer and meds, extra tanks, 

c-pap and cpap cleaner, Walter, kennel. bed, toys, food, dishes, treats, 

plus a few Christmas presents that were too heavy to send after 

they didn't end up coming last year, and of course the reg stuff -suitcase etc.

All of it had to be at one low level, so I could easily see out the windows, because 

I hadn't driven on a freeway in 15 months and I was NERVOUS.

Walter whined/ cried and whimpered the first 90 minutes.

OMG!

He was so upset that I stopped in Barstow and bought him a burger,

he wouldn't touch it, but he finally did settle down.

I was going to be the first parent to see the kids new house. That is

how Ben enticed me down there. I am often the last to see or know stuff,

so smart guy, it worked.

Now for point of reference, Walter has not seen another dog

except through a window or on tv 

since he was 8 weeks old, and had only briefly met

 one other human about 8 months before.

I was concerned, but hoped for the best.

Walter and I have been totally alone for 15 months.

We were throwing him into the deep end of the pool.

He was meeting 6 adults, 3 other dogs and staying in a strange house 

and yard. We had our moments but we muddled through.

He never did warm up to David, Hannah's large husky, 

in fact Walter was often aggressive toward him, but

David just ignored the 3 small ones, Mr Mellow. 

The damn video of the first meeting won't load onto the blog!!

 grrrrrrr blogger

so go here to see it if you'd like

https://www.instagram.com/p/COo0XW2Hi4F/

Anyhoot -so wonderful to hug other people and be with the 4 

best folks ever and 2 of their besties. 

We just hung out, laughed, talked for hours, 

 and ate lots of great food.

I helped them plant their huge raised garden that Ben built,

and went to a gorgeous nursery in Culver called Rolling Greens.

My dear blog friend Carole had given me a Christmas gift certificate there

in 2019 but with covid, last month was my first chance to go.

I bought this gorgeous pot and succulents. 

It's right outside my kitchen window so I think

of Carole every day. 

Contemplations Part

It was fairly overwhelming to be around folks.

I found that commotion, even the good kind, was unsettling.

I stayed until the following Tuesday and though sad to leave, I also

found I was anxious to return to my solitude and my small world.

I told my daughter that I was proud that I got through those months

 without going batshit crazy

 but I've come to realize that difficult time alone affected me far more than 

I ever imagined.  I no longer have tv on as background company - ever.

I am very selective in what I listen to and watch, 

and still read about a book a day.

Instagram and all the influencers are wearing thin for me. 

I enjoyed them. I like many of the gals, and admire their stamina for 

doing what they do, but... nope it takes too much of my time and

my energy to think about their lives. I have kept several cooks, DIYers, vintage

and animal sites, and of course friends that I regularly correspond with.

I stopped following so many before my trip, and quite a few more when I returned.

It is not a negative thing, I think of it the same way as I do when I purge anything.

I want the time I have left to be conscious, selective time.

Does that make sense? Well, it only really has to matter to me I guess.

 

I love writing to folks that I have real relationships with,

and of course chatting with very old chums

 is always a pleasure, but I have no desire to go out and about

or shop anywhere but on line.

I'm open to meeting new folks and making real connections,

if that happens, terrific!

The politics of all this just has me shut out any desire to engage

too far out into the world,

though I do keep knowledgable about facts, the REAL ones.

I've found a lot more peace in this new method- the opposite of what 

most folks felt these past 15 months

who couldn't wait, cannot wait, to get back out among the masses. 

I'm happy here and content is not a bad word.

BTW

The weekend after I left, Ben's MIL came to visit, and the following

weekend his dad had to fly in.  LOL 

They couldn't stand it

 but I still was there first hehe